tired.

[dangous mind]

I am SICK and TIRED of daydreaming. All last night I was making my best friend die and what I would do. Same thing over and over again. Then in real life she actually called me and said her adopted mom past away, so of course I keep daydreaming. I went to church last night and I wanted someone to give me a hug so badly, not the quick "hi how are you crap." My best friend back home is the only one who knows how to hold me the right way, and since I just moved I don't have her anymore. I also call her my mom in real life, we were both lonely at the time and it just stuck. I met her online then we met in person and she moved to my state. I just get so sick of daydreaming of her dying on me and what I need to do for her. I listen to music and that's all I wanna do sometimes. I don't even have enough engery to come on here and tell you guys because all I wanna do is daydream. When I feel so sad in church I make myself not cry, even though I want to cry so badly sometimes. How do you stop daydreams when you don't want them???? When I get into music it is sooo hard to turn it off. Sometimes my Dad has to tell me how late it is or it's time to eat. When I don't even feel like eating or sleeping. I get mad at my Dad in my mind and for myself for listening and daydreaming for allowing myself. It takes so much engery to come on here.. I'm on another support site for depression and have friends I can call on the phone but some don't understand this kind of things. I'm just so SICK right now. I'm meeting with a counselor at my church next Tuesday maybe she'll help some. And I want to become closer to some of you too, but how can I when I don't even have the engery to come on here??? How do I make these stop????????????

[dangous mind]

I'll try writting it down, it's forcing myself to do it, though if I really want to daydream I shouldn't have any problems writting it down, right?! I'm in a wheelchair so there are some things I cannot do.

[Julie]

Short-term solution is easy. Run 5 miles. With music, if you wish. If you're running and still dreaming, run faster. Or jump a few thousand times. Then sleep. Set a though deadline and complete the project. Go to a party. Go to a church, catch someone and talk to that person. Talk to someone. Talk to yourself. Or write. It helps to forget. Do something, which requires concentration, like driving or cooking. Unfortunately, it doesn't cure for long-term. But it doesn't matter. Everything passes and this will pass.