daydreams

[dangous mind]

Ok, I will try and make this as short as I can, well maybe! I just moved because I was living with someone who had control over me, and I'm in a wheelchair. He didn't treat me very well to say the least, I dealt with a lot of mental abause. I daydream sometimes ALL day. Sometimes it's just the same thing over and over again. This started when I was in 6th grade now I'm 23, I'm not living with this person anymore but still dealing with the past. This person used me to say the least. In my daydreams most of the time someone is coming after me with a gun and I am trying to get away or get them to give their life to God. Most of the time I'm with this little girl trying to save her from this guy. But yet other times I'm having daydreams of my friends dying on me, and me trying to figure out how to have a funeral when I have no money left. Sometimes it's my best friend that dies, or my Dad, whom I live with now, or someone else I'm getting close to. I know that I need more love in my life and trying to work on that, but the thing that causing these things is music. Any type of music. I try and train myself not to listen to music because I just daydream, and if I lay in bed at night my whole body just sweats very badly. I dealt with a lot of depression a lot these past few years because of my living situation. After high school for a year I was isolated. I joined a support group for depression online, even though nobody understood my daydreaming parts. I know when I'm daydreaming I'm not facing my fears and so forth, but I just crave music so badly if I go a day without it or if I'm about to cry, I NEED the music and start daydreaming. Nobody really truly understands this, my counselor in my last state told me that my daydreams might go away since I'm in a safe place, but yet I am in a safe place but my daydreams still happen but with other things or with the man coming after me with the gun or what not. Anyway, now you all know a little about me.

[khaughey66]

OMG I have gone through phases where all I can seem to do in my daydreams is kill everyone I've ever loved off LOL!  I hate it when that happens.... and I say "when that happens" for a reason.  Thats what it feels like...like it just happens.  I don't consciously go there on purpose.  It feels like my own thoughts have taken over my being somehow.  I don't know if it is anxiety and depression that starts it or if anxiety and depression happen to me because I'm terrorizing myself with the absolute worst case senarios that could ever possibly happen in my life.  I haven't done that too much lately though.  Some of that was brought on or just made worse because of addiction. I was either hung over or withdrawing when it got really really bad.  But it still happens to me to a lesser degree.  Some days I feel like I can't think a good thought to save my life.  Oddly enough, I think it was at it's worst when I lived with my father and a daydream of his death would take over.  I have to tell you though, now that he has actually passed away, in some ways my day dreams (daymares is more like it) were even worse than when it actually happened.  Don't get me wrong, the grief was more intense,  being that it was actually real,  but the anxiety and stress of the actuality of it all was much worse in my daydreams.  

 

I hope some of that helps you, or at least I hope I didn't make it worse for you lol.  I'm glad you got out of the toxic relationship you were in.  I've had that experience too, unfortunately.  It's helped me to come here I hope it does you too.  Welcome!

[dangous mind]

Thank you both for responding, nobody really truly know about daydreaming either. I've never heard about Maladaptive daydreaming till I found this site. Nice to know I'm not crazy!

[Angel]

Wow, I'm not alone in daydreaming about tragedy.  I have been safe for many years, but these types of daydreams haven't ceased.  They have lessened in frequency, though, while other types of daydreams have increased.

 

You said, "I know when I'm daydreaming I'm not facing my fears and so forth..."  I don't think that's entirely true.  I think that one reason for these tragic daydreams are a way for us to process those negative emotions left over from abuse or pain that we suffered in real life.  But I'm not a psychiatrist or counselor so really that's just my own guess.  Not that the professionals know much about maladaptive daydreaming either.  ;)