This fight can be won

[Remus]

 I now a lot of us feel disappointed when we fail to force our daydreams to stop, but the truth they can't be stopped that way.  (If you don' t believe me, check out this article http://www.wjh.harvard.edu/~wegner/pdfs/Wegner,Schneider,Carter,&am....). We must find other ways to stop daydreaming, and medication is not one of them. If we can't control our minds without medication, then how can we control anything? Sure, maladaptive daydreaming is a major problem, but it can be dealt with. Try a method and, if it doesn't work, try another. Be inventive.

Here are some tips.  Some of them might work for you, some of them not.  Don't give up if things don't seem to go well, who knows how near can be the solution?

 

Tip 1

Keep yourself distracted. Count the red cars you see on the street (or the blue ones, or silver ones, or count the trees, whatever you want). Look at the houses and think how would it be to live in them. Look at the gardens and think which flowers do you like and which not. Look at people and try to guess what kind of persons they are. This helps you a lot to be in the present moment. When you do a thing, speak to yourself and describe what you are doing, so you can keep your mind focused. If you feel you start daydreaming, watch the daydreams, accept them and let them pass away. Do not ignore them, but don't get involved in them either. Watch them as if they are something separate from you.

 

Tip 2

Analyze your daydreams. This is an important one. You can't stop the daydreams without analyzing their content, because you dream for a reason and you can't stop without solving your issues. If you are eating and daydreaming about, let's say, impressing the girl you love, ask this questions: where am I now? Why do I play this scenarios in my mind? Does it help me to daydream about this, or not? You will realize that dreaming about these things is not going to help you impress that girl, on the contrary, that it is much more rewarding to live in the present moment, however boring it is, that in a fantasy world that will make you feel awful afterwards, that if you don't daydream you will have more chances to be with that girl etc.

You will say you know these things. Yes, but you unconscious mind doesn't know these things. This is an involuntary, compulsive problem, so it has to do with the primitive part of your brain. That's why you need to repeat this thing over and over again, till your unconscious mind understands that the daydreams are useless and stops paying them. Always try to figure out the emotional cause of your dream and solve that problem first. If you find difficulties, read some books about cognitive-behavioral therapy, it really helps you to deal with your emotions

So every time you have a daydream, instead of repressing it, analyze it, realize it is not useful and it only gives an false happiness, then consciusly abandon it. If you can't do that, let it be or try another method. Never suppress it.

Tip 3

When you notice a daydream, draw an X over it. You probably won’t notice most of the daydreams, at least at fisrt, but whenever you do notice one, imagine you draw a red X over it. It doesn’t sound useful, but it is.

 

Tip 4

Try a meditation method or something like this. You can try mindfulness or concentration or both. It is very usefull. Practice it as often as you need it, at least half an hour a day and you will see de results. Search the internet for a meditation method, and if it doesn’t work, try another one. Don’t be fustrated if you don’t succed at first.

I also posted a method on "Tips and strategies" group, you can try it.

Good luck and contact me if you need help!

[Annie]

Interesting, Im gonna try them out, lets see how they work. Thanks Remus ^.^

[Robin]

Thank you for posting this! I've been feeling very frustrated lately trying to control my compulsive daydreaming. These are good tips.

[Remus]

P.S.

For me, stopping triggers doesn't help. I daydream anywhere, anytime, and music isn't such a big trigger. I can listen to music without daydreaming if I really try, but I almost never walk on street without daydreaming. So stopping the triggers isn't always the answer.

[Cordellia Amethyste Rose]

I also posted some tips, some of which you mentioned, along the right side of the main page.