There are Others Like Me?!

[Shayna Marie]

I am Glad and Relieved that there are others out ther like Me. For a long time i literally thought i was the only one with MDD. I've had MDD since the age of six, but didnt know what was wrong with me nor knew what MDD was til the age of Twenty. Through that big gap of not knowing i went through deep depression, delt with low self-esteem, delt with a lot of anger within myself, was very insecure, and I withdrawed from Everyone. For years i thought i was Crazy, abnormal, and even mentally challanged, and it made me hate myself. I use to get really mad when i would catch myself going into a deep daydream, and abuse myself. I have been to many different therapist and tried to describe my symptons to them, but they all looked at me with confusion. Every last therapist that i went to didnt have a clue what mdd was, so they didnt recognize the symptons. A therapist once told me, "Well, If you dont like these daydreams that you go into, then STOP!" O___o If it was that easy, then i wouldnt of been sitting in his office. After finding out what MDD was, as an adult I've learned to accept MDD and Love myself ,even though my symptoms have gotten worse over the years. I dont let it bother me as much, even though it is severe. Basically anything can trigger my MDD. Tv shows, music, movies, a picture, a recent conversation; ANYTHING! Music definatley triggers it, i have thrown out my stero, and tried driving with the radio off to see if it would help; Not at all! Multiple times I have almost rear ended peoples cars because of my MDD. I have driven to places and dont even remember how i got there because my MDD. I am now a Junior in college with a social work major. I honestly have no idea how i made it through school, My Mdd would get so bad that i would miss a whole lesson in class. Not many people know that i have MDD, especially my family and friends. I have gotten weird looks from people when they would catch me in a deep daydream and would see my lips moving, or smiling, or even laughing to myself. I get so deep into my daydreams that sometimes i even act them out, and would get sooooo embarrsed and feel ashamed when people would catch me. I tried to tell my mother about it, but she never took me seriously and just tells me that Im always in "La La Land". I have look at some websites and got some information on what some people use for treatment for MDD. Some have used Meds that are intended for people with ADD, some say that it helps keep them focused. Some have used meds that are for people with OCD, because its related to obsessive thinking. I just really hope that they do more research on Mdd and find a Cure for it. Well, im really glad to have found you guys and Im eager to hear about some of your stories, and learn more about MDD. :-)

[Shayna Marie]

It sure is, Thanks! :-)

[Tila]

Welcome.....I'm glad you found us! :-)

[J Noland]

Hello and welcome! Lots of similar themes to our backgrounds: embarrassment, confusion, frustration, and finally acceptance and a sense of community.

[Shayna Marie]

Thanks Guys :-)

[greyartist]

welcome!

[Laila]

Welcome, Shayna!  It's great to have you here. =D Your description of MD pretty much fits me, except I haven't been to a therapist or tried medication. But a lot of others have tried and get the same reaction. *sigh* I think the greatest advancement we've made in getting MD out there is Cynthia's article, which you might have come across in your research. At least, it's one of the most powerful tools we've got in convincing others how real MD is and helping them to understand it too. xD