Maladaptive Daydreaming: where wild minds come to rest
Lately, I've been having daydreams where people I'm close to, abandon me and I'm left all alone.
The dreams involve.
1. The girl I like, who stops talking to me and goes back to her ex and eventually blocks me, for no reason.
2. My closest friends feeling like I'm a burden to them and leaving me.
3. My parents disowning me because I brought shame to the family, due to my slow pace in life and mental health issues.
And then eventually, I become this person who doesn't share anything at all to anyone, and keeps everything to himself, whilst helping other people sort out their own problems, to make them feel like they haven't been abandoned, since I don't want others to suffer the same pain I did (This is all in the dream, but the part where I make others feel good, is one of my real life traits as well.)
So I keep having these dreams and it makes me feel really bad about myself. Like, I feel sometimes there's something wrong with me, which I need to change or perhaps, what I consider as who I am isn't the most attractive thing out there.
All my life, I've never had relationships, and I've been too scared to ask anybody out, due to the awkwardness that follows after a rejection, and also a general doubt as to whether I can make it into a serious one later on. And I also struggle to maintain friendships as well, because sometimes people feel like they have to spoon-feed things to me and that I'm burdening them. So it makes me feel really depressed and I can't do basic things because I feel drained all the time.
If anyone ever feels like that, please do reach out so we can share our experiences and perhaps, feel less alone to some extent.
If you've made it this far, thanks for reading me vent out. This is something that's been going on for the past couple of weeks now and it's so painful.