The desire to MD will never leave - but that's okay

[Mils]

Hi, so lately I've been doing a lot of self-improvement and working on myself, and I realised that finally, I am happy with my life. I feel at ease, and I always thought that would stop my want to MD. It hasn't though. And when I did indulge, I realise that my daydreams wanted a different life than the one normal-me wanted. A life filled with adventure and danger, but I don't want that, not right now and not as I spend the rest of my life. 

I still want to MD now, but I do it much less frequently. Instead I focus on other things, replacing it with exercising to work towards my goals, or going out for a walk to get some fresh air. Even calling a friend will help. Just reminding myself what I want in my life (through mood boards, scrolling through my camera roll, etc), it helps remind me why I don't want to have MD apart of it. 

Just some motivation, at least for me. And I wanted to share it, since I'm rarely posting on here anymore. I'd love to hear what you guys think! Have a great day :)

[SA]

I think my main issue is that those short bursts entail me acting out my daydreams. I’m talking in the sense of saying something or acting things out. That’s the issue.

[Yukia]

So what's the concern? You don't want to daydream at all?

[SA]

Yes it doesn’t hamper any of that. I have established this much control over my daydreams.

[Yukia]

Everything depends on your time consumption. Are you able to finish all important work between those small relapses?

[SA]

By small relapses I mean the times when you daydream a little bit because a very strong emotion has just hit after being repressed for way too long. However, after getting into it a little bit, you realise you’ve been triggered and then you stop and sit still somewhere to gain a bit of connection with the present moment.

[Yukia]

What do you mean by small relapses?

[SA]

Hey!!! I’m a maladaptive daydreamer too.
I have realised that it’s a coping mechanism and have begun to awaken a bit. But ever since I’ve let go, there’s this awful numbness that I experience during my daily life. It feels as if I’m a robot and don’t have any self. At the same time, loads of repressed emotions are coming to the fore. What I want to ask is that how could I deal with small relapses in between a day? It’s very discouraging as I feel split between two worlds. I don’t know if I’m here or there.

[Mils]

No, I haven't told anyone. Some of my immediate family knows about it though, since they were they when it started or they have it too.

[Yukia]

Just out of curiosity, does anybody in your circle know about your MD?