SORRY GOD:'-(

[Simran]

I really had to apologise to God for this. I have been taught to be happy with whatever I have and thank God for it because all aren't blessed with everything in the world. What I have others may not have. What they have I may not have. If I have problems and sorrows in my life others will be having twice the amount of pain I have. Yes! this is true. I see so many people who are poor, don't have home, education, food, are being exploited,etc. At least I've been blessed with all these things. I always thank Him for this and always look at positive sides of my life. MY DAYDREAMING IS A RESULT OF HIDING MY PAINS. God always gave me whatever I've asked for. But today I realised that my life is miserable. There is love but there is no one who appreciates my love. The love which I get is not the kind of love I want.....i mean it doesn't make me feel loved. There's no meaning to my life. today when I stopped daydreaming I started crying bitterly. I'm all alone though there are so many people all around me. I've grown up watching the members of my family fight with each other and they always address each other as my relatives. For eg: After a fight with my dad my mom tells me YOUR FATHER blah....blah....

And my dad tells me YOUR MOTHER did....blah....blah

What is my fault if the person doing something wrong is related to me?

However this is not the case with me, I can never fight with people even for my own rights. I don't have guts, no confidence.

There are so many things in my mind right now. But I dont know what they are and so I cant find words to express myself.

Everything seems so fake and it's so irritating.

[Chandra D Lewis]

As unpleasant as it sounds, that may be their way of showing "love." I have a sister-in-law like that; always the excuse of 'O! It's just bluntness; she's saying something because she cares.' There is a difference between that and bitchiness, if you ask me.

I really wish I could give you some well-tested advice, yet unfortunately I am absolute butt when it comes to social interactions. I do, however, send my understanding of your situation.

[LJ]

Right!  God does bless us, it's up to us to be happy.  I have to appologize to God too.  I feel like such a heel always escaping reality and wasting countless hours on dding........  I am trying to get out too.  The toxic people don't help the situation either.

[Sandy D]

Try to stay away from the "toxic" people in your life -  they do nothing but drag you down - you DO have choices, even if it doesn't feel that way.  Why put your self in a situation where you feel you have to fight anyway?  remember, it takes at least 2 people to fight, so don't get baited into being one of them.  Love is a state of mind and soul - look for it in the right places, like good friends, houses of worship (many have support groups for a variety of things). But the best way to feel good is to DO good, even if it's small stuff like helping a neighbor shovel snow off the walk, or volunteering at a food bank. One thing about Love is, the more you put out  there in the world, the more it returns. Don't give up.

[taffle]

I have fake relatives too, especially on my dad's side of the family. They backstab and fight with each other, and I am just disgusted by it all. There is little or no love. They care more about reputation and money than about love. I also don't have the confidence to fight people, absolutely no guts, so I stopped visiting my relatives. When I go there, they keep hurting me with their words and unspoken body language, and I am afraid to fight them, so I quit going there. I feel better now.