Selfish Daydreamer?

[Amanda Lynne]

  I was doing great daydreaming, and I gave myself a little time to daydream and I couldn't stop for two days. I blew off my family, barely paid attention to my friends on the last days of school, and almost got ran over because I can't get out my stupid little fantasy.

 

  People say (I have said before) that you should give yourself a set time to daydream but if I do then I can't stop and it's so hard to get back in that motivated mind set for me, once I've relapsed.

 

  That's not really the point of this though, I realized something about my daydreams. They're all about me. People watching me and admiring me. People rescuing me or feeling bad for me. I don't mean to be selfish, I really do care about other people, but I guess I am selfish. I don't like that, it bothers me.

 

  Isn't it selfish to be shy? Please don't be offended by that anyone, I'm shy too, it's just a thought. It's not selfish in a way where people mean to be selfish, but at the end of the day isn't it a little selfish to think everyone is 24/7 worried about how you look and act? It's selfish to think everyone cares that much about your life or image all the time.

 

  Most of all I feel like I'm selfish for spending most of my time daydreaming, feeling sorry for myself because I don't stop daydreaming, and for wasting time that God gave me.

[LostSoul99]

When I realized that my DDs were becoming excessive, I looked up certain disorders. This one disorder narcistic personality disorders involves one to often dream about their ideal selves. But this personality disorder often involves someone to be more selfish, self-centred and unempathetic so I don't know but look into it if you think you may have this. Anyways, some of my DDs are also about an idealistic self and I don't think it's selfish at all. Sometimes when your reality isn't that well, we need something to satisfy us don't we? So I guess that's what it is, I think it's an defense mechanism for our self-esteem if that makes any sense.

[Amanda Lynne]

I guess selfish isn't the word, probably just something I made up to put myself down...

[otakugirl]

I feel the same way I feel so bad when I am dd and my mom bothers me and I am so into it I yell at her or anyone who bothers me becus I get scard when I snap out or how it is ruined. Can tell you how much homework, family, friend time I have wasted.

[Jennifer]

No, no, no, Amanda, that is not selfishness! I know exactly what you mean; my daydreams are about the same kind of situations. I wouldn't call it selfish...I have thought this over many times before you posted, and am once again glad to know I'm not alone. I think the reason we do this is because we want to feel wanted and loved. I honestly don't think it has anything at all to do with selfishness...It's mostly about feeling like a hero, or feeling happy, or feeling wanted and loved, and admired, and valued.

[Louise]

I am exactly the same !! I often ready about people day dreaming and developing lots of character, but I find its always surrounding me , and my success and skills. 

I can be quite shy also , and in some ways I find it build my self esteem?

[Roobles]

No ur not selfish.

It's natural to want to daydream of yourself I mean where is da fun of daydreaming of other people being pretty, successfull, admired and happy.

I think most people dd even without maladaptive dd about themselves and what they wadesire how far fetched it is.

One thing I do agree that dd is a waste of time that god gave us. That is not selfish as its a addiction not our fault but it is our fault if we don't try and stop!!!!
If you think that u want others to like u does not mean ur selfish it's the operate. Imagine if u diddnt care what people think and ur brash and nasty and load and don't care of others opinions of feelings and doesnt care what people think of them. and compare that to you who is shy as they don't want to hurt others at all and want to fit in. Who seems selfish there??? Not u by a long shot.

[Wish Upon A Wish]

Except in very, very rare cases, the one person people will care most about, want to talk most about, is themselves. So don't worry, it's completely normal =) It doesn't make you especially selfish, or bad. And, as Liza said, most people fantasize about their idealized self, and what they feel/think would be perfect.

Me, personally (see, talking about myself haha) I'm both selfish and generous. Or should I say greedy and generous? I don't know. I conflict myself so much, it's kind of weird.

[Liza Maria Medina]

I think just the fact that you care to know if it's selfish and it makes you feel guilty means you're not selfish. Many of us fantasize about ourselves and a perfect or idealized version of ourselves. It's all about your unique emotional state. For me I started DDing a lot as a kid about having a family or boyfriend who loved me unconditionally mostly because I didn't feel loved by my real family. I may dream that everyone thinks I'm beautiful because I feel average or plain looking. It's just a defense mechanism against the worries and trauma of life and doesn't make you selfish. 

I'm also really shy with people I just met but many people who have MD are shy or awkward. I think I have anxiety issues as well but that doesn't make me selfish since I am kind and considerate of others and in the end that's what matters.