I am begining to suspect, I may be the oldest member currently attached to this Maladaptive Dreamer.   Good news, finally I am leading the curve on something!  It must be a challenge to build an interactive group from a selection of people who by their very defination do not interact with other real human beings, at least not well or on an emotional level.  There are of course exceptions but in general I think that relationships that result in positive emotional exchange are hard to come by, varying from rare to extinct.  The nice thing about daydreaming is you can have positive relationships any time you want, and recieve all the warm and fuzzy emotional rewards without any risk.  Except for the few unpleasent side effects attached to people who do this as a lifestyle, it would be an enviable state.  We would be giving lectures to the individuals who need to learn to daydream or to do it better.  There would even be charities to help the poor unfortunates who are stuck living in reality.

 

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Comment by Jane Wilson on April 23, 2011 at 3:34am

Is there anyone out there who has MD and suffers from chronic pain?  I have been on medication for chronic pain for about six years now.  It adds a layer of difficulty to doing anything that requires mental focus.  I also believe it has dampen my emotional reponses.  Has anyone had a similar experience?

Comment by Jane Wilson on April 17, 2011 at 3:25am
I am new to the blog post thing, not really sure how often I should add stuff or update anything?  I would be happy to carry on a discussion with my fellow MDs.  It seems alot of the posts are old.  I wonder how many check their posts several time a weeks?  Anyone out there? Please note my blog is being monitered by me so I will be happy to answer any comments or questions or just talk.  There is no place else short of therapy (not an option)  where I can talk about the day dreaming.
Comment by Jane Wilson on April 11, 2011 at 6:34am

I can understand where you are coming from on want to use the daydreaming to explore possibilities, however thoughts should be viewed with caution because of the power they hold.  I know myself well enough to know there is probably no evil that I am not capable of if I gave myself to it and the start is to indugle in the emotions to begin to lust after it.  I truly have all the faults, and bad habits I can handle, I am trying to avoid adding to the list.

 

I certainly believe in giving people the benefit of the doubt and thinking about what walking in their shoes are like.  Sadly despite my best intentions none of this helps me to establish social interactions, of course at this point I have given up on having any meaningful relationships in reality.  Also perhaps I wasn't clear but when I daydream it is never me, it is someone I create that I would respect and like.  I have serious self-esteem/depression issues that I have just learned to bury and walk around the grave.

 

My daydreams usually involve an entire novel/novels alternate reality, even though I may repeat a favorite scene because it pleases me and I do link some daydreams that kick in when I hear certain types of music.  If I focus on the images , I can enjoy greater detail but on one that is already defined , I can generate some of the same result with just a faint version running on a different track (intensity?) while I am doing something else.

I think the majority of them would qualify as fan fiction for popular science fiction except I often make drastic changes in certain areas.

In my version of Star Wars, Vader wasn't that badly hurt after the fight, it is the emperor who has him maimed in surgery to keep his growning powers hobbled.  Also my character in this universe would be known as - a ghost.  Thousands of years ago in the beginning of the Jedi there was a division between what we know refer to as Jedi ( no relationship, we must be above that kind of stuff, kidnaping other peoples children to make new Jedi) and a group who said I don't think so and left.  They believe in marrying and having children.  Well if you take any trait and breed for it , it gets stronger, after a few centuries the entire former jedi group withdrew from the known universe.  They had their own culture, society and rules.  Very few people who are not ghosts know that they exist but they can do things through the force that jedi don't even dream about.  At least that is one story line, there are others.

 

 

Comment by Heinriech Heisner on April 10, 2011 at 9:16am

@Jane:

Oh see, we are the complete opposite in our thinking, yet similar in 
seeing it as the perfect addiction. I do anything and go anywhere in my 
daydreams, even to the darkest depths of mankind. I figure, 
I can fulfill my curiosities in that place where nothing is real and be safe 
in doing them. And they do what they are suppose to do, because when I snap 
out of them, I have no desire to live out those daydreams in the real world, 
it's quite the opposite really. I find it as sort of a place to learn (that's 
my true passion in life, to learn about everything), to delve into the minds 
of what others are thinking, especially of the ones people fear and possibly 
think what they are thinking. People can be pretty crazy and have a twisted 
view of reality, but I feel I can understand how they let their thoughts 
control them. And I think that gives me control over my perceptions of 
reality.


I somehow doubt that emotionally investing in your characters is a sin. They 
are afterall, just reflections of yourself. In your case you should be asking 
yourself, why has God given me this gift? and for what purpose can I use it to 
better the world? In my case of how I use my daydreams, I believe my ability 
to understand others and why things happen the way they do, have given me 
great compassion and patience. It has given me an opportunity to take in each 
situation before acting upon it. For example, if someone snaps at me, 95 
percent of the time I know it was not because of something I did, and instead 
of impulsively snapping back and creating an unnessisary argument, I ask the 
question, what's going on, what's wrong? That is one of the things daydreams 
have done for me.


@Haley:

I believe that someday, technology may advance in the field of 
computer-mind interface to the point where people like us will have the 
advantage. We will be able to translate our thoughts directly into holographic 
scenes or our ability to mind-control systems will be far greater than your 
average Joe. Everyone is born with different 'gifts' and it is our 
environments that determine our advantages and disadvantages. Our environment 
has not yet arrived, but it may someday. In the mean time, I completely 
understand your frustration with writing this stuff down.

Comment by Jane Wilson on April 9, 2011 at 6:14am

I thought about and wondered it I came on a little strong.  My age gives me an advantage at least that is what I have read when it comes to dealing with my emotions.  In childhood emotions are so vulnerable that I was in my twenties before I found other things to cry over.  Looking back into the past I can see not only my part but how the other people who caused me pain for the most part did not do it on purpose.  In that at least I was fortunate.  Twenties were a roll coaster ride that only slowly began to level out in my thirties.  I don't claim to resolved my issues as more like I learned to manage them so I could do what I needed to do. 

 

I think the content of your fantasies address whatever you feel you like in your life.  When I was young almost all my stories had a strong father like character that took care of or protected me.  Never a mother, I never felt a lack of mothering but both my step father and father where emotionally unavailable.   I am sure that holds true for most daydreamers.  On a side note when I wrote the book, I wrote a book I wanted to read, it actually didn't have anything to do with any fantasy I had at the moment.

 

My starting point was my favorite joke from Star Wars:  It is the scene where Lord Vader strangles an officer then slowly walks out of the room.  Two storm troopers are standing guard at the door, there is a long moment of silence after Lord Vader is gone.  Then one storm troopers turns to the other one and says " See, this is why I did not want to go to officer school?"

Comment by Haley Blep on April 6, 2011 at 4:18pm
I feel exactly the same way about the writing.  I get bored trying to write fiction after only about fifteen minutes.  It just goes /so/ slowly, and it feels like a hasel having to translate every single image into words and to make sure  the words don't sound like crap.  With daydreaming everything is a fast as lightning, like a movie in your head.  I've been thinking maybe writing movies or play scripts would be better than short stories/novels.  At least then I wouldn't have to worry about describing the scenery.
Comment by Jane Wilson on April 6, 2011 at 8:54am

Yes, I have other rules but these tend to be more personal and may not be generally adaptible.  For one thing I am a Christian which puts restrants on where I can allow my mind to go.  I do believe that to lust to do something evil is a sin and not a good idea as thoughts usually prelude actions.  As all human beings I do fall off of my own rules occassionally but get up again and go on.  The most disturbing thing I had ever read (at least for a day dreamer) was that in a dream , the dreamer plays all parts so you are also the villian you defeat.  But a rule that I have never broken is never make up anything whatsoever to do with God under any circumstances.  This has to do with honoring my Lord Jesus as the ultimate and true reality.  It is probably the main reason that I have the control that I do.  I realize that I am opening up myself for a lot of critical comment.  This whole issue of emotionally investing in characters that exist only in my mind is I am sure a sin in itself but that is a side issue that I don't intend address in this forum.  I have never heard it addressed by anyone but I am sure that I am not the only believer that has this problem.  It is a slippery slope, but I will change the subject now.  

 The main difference for me is not that I do not see myself reflected in much of the comments and blogs but for one small difference?  For me daydreaming is about control, about being able to work up vigittes in my mind that give me the feelings of being respected, loved, honored, or the rush of victory.  Occassionally a good cry (one not based on maudlin self-pity).  If I run one so often it begins to lose its effect I have a veritible library to pull from.   It seems to me the perfect addiction.  You do not have to risk criminal prosecution, serious health defects or spend money.  Absolutely no one knows what you are doing and even when they suspect something is off as in "They live in there own little world".  They never guess that is the truth.  If it weren't for the long term effects, I would recommend it as a alternate life style.

 

Have you ever read or even heard of emotional IQ, it was a book and has spawned a couple of sequels.  The premise is just as the IQ which is valued in our society actually relates to onlyone facet of intelligence there are other types of skill involved in life.  Emotional IQ refers to the ability to control your own emotions, recognize others emotions and here is the key part react properly in social situations.  Just as in the average classroom there is usually at least one child with a learning disablity for reading/writing there are children with a disablity reading/reacting in social situations.  These children are the ones who are picked on and forced to be loners.  Anyway the whole premise is very interesting and the reason I brought it up would be that my emotional IQ is possibly in negative numbers.  Through a life time of experiences, I have managed to develop/learn enough that I can have one on one conversations and/or teach an entire room.  What I have never been able to do is manage to socialize in groups of three or more.  Since most of lifes bonding experiences take place in these small groups it is a definate handicap.  Let me express it from a book I read one time.  It was a dating book that gave scores based on you lifestyle, job  and activities on how likely you would be datable people.  This is the quote " There are nuns in convents who meet far more eligible people than you."  I have always remenbered that.

 

Also I can drive and dreaming the minds background at the same the result is that I get where I am going but don't remenber the journey at all nor did I recall seeing anything along the way.  This has cause me problems on the job.  Over a thirty year work history, I have been fired several times usually over performance where I made errors (which I usually corrected) but did not remenber anything about what was actually happening or going on.  I think that certain memories/or observations are just not made when day dreaming even in background mode.  

Comment by Heinriech Heisner on April 5, 2011 at 10:17pm

Yes! That is definitely a good rule to keep in mind. I also use to have the problem of duplicating someone in the real world and by doing that I would actually avoid meeting the person and miss out getting to know someone who isn't idealized.

 

Another rule I would add, if you are able to control your daydreaming, is to not let it go on for too long during one period. Don't get completely wrapped up in the story by breaking it up and returning to reality for breathers. Other wise it is really easy to slip back into the constant habit.

 

Do you have other rules?

 

Jane, I image that for your daughter, reality is much more like a dream, rather than a daydream like it is for us.

Comment by Jane Wilson on April 5, 2011 at 10:33am

There was research done on an inert virus that we carried in our dna.  The research showed that in newborns who undergo extreme stress within the first week of birth (usually by sickness or were premature) the virus became active within the brain cells of the infants.  Changes actually took place in the brain, follow up on the group of children showed that a much larger percentage than average population developed either a life long problem with depression, shizord (can spell word, no dictionary handy) or ms. Both myself and both of my children fall into those characteristics.  English needs a word for descendents that have reached adulthood beyond children, my youngest is 32.

 

Comment by Jane Wilson on April 5, 2011 at 10:28am
There

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