Of Introductions and confessions.

[Kira]

            
                  I joined here a month ago. Two perhaps. I can't exactly remember. I had planned to post as soon as I joined but I was conflicted. I didn't want to believe I had a problem, and for the most part, it didn't feel like I had a problem. Just because I enjoyed mental stimulation and solitude more than most wasn't a issue, right?  However, I started to see the world passing me by. The people around me started to do more with their lives, building up character and creating an identity. All the while, I sat in a daydreaming fixation. It began to drive me crazy, not being able to stop my want to escape into my mind. I felt so stuck.

                The last month I've been daydreaming daily. So much so that every time I daydream it becomes less and less satisfying. Less fulfilling. It feels empty. That's mainly why I've come back. It's a sad reason, I know. Sometimes it can be so sporadic. Sometimes I can go for days in a daydream. Many times at school, I have fell into a vortex of thoughts pulling me towards new ideas and situations. I get good grades, don't get me wrong. Although, it's so gripping at times. So tempting.

                 I want to stop. No, that's not entirely the truth. I'd be lying to say it is. I need to stop. I'm almost at a point in my life where the things around me begin to matter. I'm young, I know. Not naive, but young. That being said, I may not know what's in store for me, but I don't want to regret my past. I don't want to look back and feel as if I've wasted my life away. Even if I don't I feel like I am now. I feel miserable, but not wasted. Self-hatred, but not regret. However, I know those emotions will come later.

                                                         Pleasure to meet you all,
                                                                                                      Kira   

[Kira]

When I write poetry, it's usually always narrative. Sometimes even like a story. It can be an outlet of sorts when daydreaming is stagnant. Also, writing short stories are always satisfying when finished.

Photography is such a beautiful hobby. The stories and moments you can capture in one picture is just magical to me. Yes, sometimes I think if there could be just one thing I could hook on to that I could do for life, I would be better off. Unfortunately, you don't get payed for daydreaming. :)

Hehe, normal. :)  Thank you. I can't explain how much those words make me happy. Sometimes I feel so guilty wasting so much time in my world. Neglecting too many things, too many people. I agree, people just can't understand, which I don't at all blame them for, the driving force of creativity. It's surging. I was caught in a daydream once while my brother came downstairs. I didn't notice he was there, and I made a really sudden movement while pacing. I noticed him and jumped out of my skin. I quickly tried to explain that my back had been hurting. Ever since then, I'm always paranoid.

[Kira]

Thank you so much. I really appreciate the welcome. :)

Maybe so. I want to find some career or aspect in my life where having MD is beneficial. I adore writing, although sometimes it's not enough. I want to be a Psychologist, however I worry I won't enjoy it as time goes by. It can be fustrating at times, you know? :) 

It's so calming knowing you're not alone in...  All of this. A place where you can let out your struggles and not only do people hear you, but they understand. I've never had that. It's nice. :)

(Lost a chance? There's still time. :) There always is. My aunt went back to school in her forties.)

[Kira]

I'm sixteen. But perhaps it is too late, I have no idea. I agree with you about not being able to stop it. I can act like I will be able to, but really, who am I kidding? It's not really something of control. I wrote this at a low point. I was miserable. My writing wasn't really that coherent. I'm sorry, I was basically ranting. Not a good first introduction!