Mental health update and weekend plans...

[Angel]

... Or how Angel just can't blog one topic at a time.

 

So here it is Friday, and the residual pain from last weekend's migraine is still here.  Like a spike stuck in the front of the right lobe of my brain, not painful enough for painkillers just enough to be a bother.  Its alright I have an appointment on 5/11 with Dr. C, he will likely adjust my preventative medications again.  That is typical for migraine patients to have to periodically adjust medications, they might work for awhile, but your body adjusts then you need to change them.  So it goes.

 

Daydreaming has been moderate the last couple days.  This is good.  I'm not binging, but I'm not totally locked out either.  If I can't daydream my anxiety goes through the roof.  If I binge reality gets blurry and starts to feel unreal.  My first blog post here was right after coming out of a binge, that's when everything felt alien.  Then I was mostly stuck out in the real world for a few days.  The anxiety built up, I started scraping my scalp with my fingernails sort of unconsciously.  Now my scalp is sore and has some scabs, I realize what I've done.  I haven't done that since my teens!   So balance for now seems best, which is where I'm at as of yesterday and today.  Need to keep that anxiety down.

 

My depression seems to be doing alright lately.  I've been on the antidepressant for almost two months now.  I'm sleeping better too, though still feel tired during the day.  I'm having fewer nightmares, but I'm talking in my sleep more.  Strange.

 

People keep asking me what my plans for this weekend are.  Mom would like to do something with me.  Everyone else just want to make small talk.  Look, Saturday I plan to make homemade turkey and vegetable soup, maybe play some video games, do some house work, and daydream.  Sunday my fiance and I will do... something... we usually play by ear.  If we want to go wandering we will or we might just stay in and relax.  My life isn't that exciting.  Like everyone else posting here I wish people would quit asking.  Um, and Mom, I was over last weekend, now I need a weekend for myself.  Sorry, I love you, but I need me time.