For the first time  in my life- I have no real obsessive urge to daydream . I did something very extreme - I went on a vacation by myself  , I had to share a room with a room mate (a stranger) and was also  forced to interact with a group 24/7 for about 3 weeks.

During this time I was so busy that I hardly had time to DD . When I returned home  I also realized that I was actually living a nightmare where I was being tormented by narcissistic family members  and that I was indeed traumatized due to emotional pain all my life.

I also recognized the disparity between my energy levels away from my family and then with my family. I finally realized that I am a victim of emotional vampires who feed off my sadness and hopelessness. That is why I have no energy to make friends or pursue my dreams.

Now that I have awoken - I have energy to fight for myself and feel that everything is not hopeless. That I can have happiness in THIS life and not ONLY in a fake one. So now I have diverted that energy to my REAL life.

I also realized that I have no one to really care for me so now  I am more actively engaged in day to day happenings.My family brainwashed me - telling me I am no good and useless. This is often a self-fulfilling prophecy - I now say to all of you , examine those nearest and dearest and see if they are not slowly killing your soul.

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Comment by Geingart on July 5, 2013 at 1:36pm

Just one advice. Don't fight the toxic persons, emotional vampires, trolls or whatever. They will win or make the situation even worse.

There's one only way to treat with this kind of people. Be away, and if you can´t be away ignore them. 

Comment by Tinkerbell on June 30, 2013 at 3:19pm

I'm so happy to find that you have found the root cause of your unhappiness and that your family are the ones to have caused it.  For me I think it's a combination of family and friends.  I have a bad habit of picking up people who use me, I feel for people in need and I just think, "I can help them."  I'll give them advice, lend them money if they need it, help them find work if they haven't got it.  E.T.C  They never return the favor and then they just vanish without saying "thanks"  or "Goodbye."  Apart from one or two, I have family members who are like this too.  There is also alot of physical, mental and sexual abuse in my family which seems to be disturbingly generational so I think this might have a huge impact too.  I hope that in the future, I can enjoy my life again and just be free.  I wonder how amazing that would be :-).

Comment by eternally a child on June 29, 2013 at 9:10pm

wow im really sorry you are going through that with your family and im glad youre making a breakthrough 

I know being with my family is not positive BUT I have no one to go for now...

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