Kind of Losing the Plot a bit here

[Mils]

Hi again :)

In the past week, I've been going overboard with MDing. I've been finding it enjoyable again, which I'm not very happy about. My feet are completely wrecked. Walking now is painful. The bruise on my foot has gone from red to complete black. I just spent an hour cutting out the dead skin and now there's patches of uneven and multi-coloured skin. The worst part is I'm going away in 2 weeks for a holiday to the beach with friends, and I feel so self-conscious and ashamed to go, since there's a 99% chance they're gonna see my feet. I have a massive exam tomorrow which I didn't study for because I was busy MDing. All I want is for the spinning aspect of MD to go away. I want to be content and feel whole without needing to do it. I want to be in control.

I'm gonna try not to do it for the next 2 weeks in preparation for my holiday and pray to god that my feet will look more normal by then. Wish me luck!