If left to myself, I can spend weeks, daydreaming. Never realizing time flew by until I stop. Then I am so ashamed of myself losing track of time and letting my responsibilities get behind.
I will get a thought or an idea, see it in my mind and start planning it down to minute details. Even researching everything online. Then online it gets away from me. I get even more distracted and see other things to do or plan.
Then when too tired, I fall asleep thinking about it. Sometimes wake, to start over doing same if not scheduled to work.
I've always been a workaholic. Also, my mind is thinking about a million things that need done, double checking in my head what got done. Rarely can I have my thoughts at rest. But if not working, no one needing me to be productive or active, I am consumed with daydreaming.
This covid lockdown, has ruined me. All I've done is daydream and sleep. Developing bad anxiety and depression.

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Comment by Jessica Ballantyne on February 18, 2021 at 2:56pm

I actually regret ever starting MD. It was enjoyable and comforting when I was a kid. But now, it's not helping me out. I spend a number of years staring into the distance longing for something that I want. When really, I had to take action and work hard to make it a reality. So I saw nothing in the end, except now my head feels weird and I get tension headaches. I had no relationships, no achievements and no success, because most times, I lived another planet. I started doing MD because I was jealous of others and had trouble finding connections. Everybody just kept making excuses that I'm introvert and quiet, and need to open up more. I used to have hobbies and interests, but now I can't seem to get my head in gear. 

Comment by Jessica Ballantyne on February 15, 2021 at 4:33pm

MD used to make me feel happy and alive, but it hasn't aged well with me. Now a much older person, I have suppressed the need to daydream, as I feel it distracts me. More so, I couldn't hide MD from anybody, even if I tried. To this day, others snap to see if I'm awake and listening to them. I make it show by how I stare into space or look the opposite direction, anywhere but their faces, and I'm so quiet. So I had no choice, but to quit, because it's getting so embarrassing. If my family members can catch me doing it, anybody can! So apparently, I don't make the covid lockdown an excuse to daydream. And I'm so worried about trying to find new work (very anxious and sweaty) that I turned down my daydreams. I'm just so panicked out of my mind. 

Comment by Raul on February 14, 2021 at 5:14pm
I write what I have to do on the day and follow the list helps me focus on what I really need to do

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