Just need to vent this..

[otakugirl]

One day while in the car I looked in the mirror (don't worry I wasn't driving my mom was) and said "Ugh my acne is so bad". Jokingly I said "Why am I so ugly".
My mom says "Maybe you need therapy. It's not normal for you to be complaining about things like this and you calling yourself ugly" "You get too emotional and I am scared one day you will do something"
This really upset me because...

1.) I was joking around. I am fine with my appearances. Along time ago I had low self esteem and I was a deeply insecure freshman and sophomore. I alone fought my insecurties and now I am fine with myself. With or without make or even with acne I know I am pretty and I'm okay with who I am. I love myself (in a non narcissistic way)

2) "Too emotional" yes I get sad and upset but c'mon I am not depressed. I do get emotional but that's just me and its not all the time.

3.) "Do something" oh mom. Is that the type of person you think I am. I have been sad for a while but I have never cut myself. I told her that too. I told her that I wouldn't kill myself because if that was the case I'd be dead a long time ago. She made me sound unstable which I am not. I know if she could see me at school with others she would know I am normal.

4.) Lastly for heavens sakes mother I have been sad for a long time (but that was only during my fres. and sop. years) and you just notice now. I alone fought my sadness and everything I felt and bottled up. You're pushing this crap on me now -.-

Thanks everyone who took time to read my petty rant. I'm doing fine. I know I have issues but they are not bad :) I can fix myself by myself. I just need people like you guys once in a while to listen or maybe even understand. My mom isn't a bad mom but doesn't know about me and my issues and MD. I almost exploded on her and told her everything but I didn't want her to worry org hurt her. She took her words back so that's all what matter.

Thanks again and have a nice day :)

[otakugirl]

@escarei Yeah that makes sense. Never thought of it that way. Thanks.

[escarei]

Maybe your mother does know about you, not about your daydreams, but your insecurities in the past. Maybe she noticed that you were better now, and when you said that, she was afraid you might go back to your old self. A lot of people can't do anything with their children, and a lot of times, they just leave them alone, but that dosen't mean they don't notice things. I think your mother knows you more than you believe. I think the phrase- Oh, my parents/mom/dad don't know me at all and they don't know a thing about me - left every childs mouth at least once. 

[taffle]

Does your mom even know you're joking? Perhaps she's taking things too literally. You should tell her you're joking.