I guess someone from the outside looking in would not think MD has affected my life.   I am an attorney at a Fortune 500 Company. In addition to my JD,  I have two master degrees.  I have been married for 17 years and have a son.  BUT MD has affected my life.  I think I could have more friends than I do now if I wasn't devoting my extra time to DD.  Although I did keep in touch with my mom over the years, I should have called more - but she is dead now from ovarian cancer.  I also would keep the house picked up more.  I probably would have written the novels I had wanted to write  about but instead I MD'ed instead.  Maybe I could have used that time to have more quality time with my family.  I also think from a big picture standpoint - I wondering if I am fulfilling my "life's purpose."  Am I really "living my best life now?"  Am I just coasting by?  Will I look back on my life and say I daydreamed my life away?  God, I hope not. I can't really do much about the past- other than learn from it.  I need to move past any guilt about it.   I read a quote recently-  "Make 'someday' today."   I think to make 'someday' today - I am going to have to start choosing to live my life and not daydream it away.  I think it will have to be just one day at a time.  One choice at a time.  I can't beat myself up though if there are times when I MD.  I just hope to improve my batting average where I step up to the plate of life.  It doesn't matter if I don't hit the ball out of the park.  It just matters that I am at the plate swinging.  And not daydreaming for hours about swinging the bat.  I will have to take more risks.  I will have to experience unpleasant feelings rather than go to MD as a coping mechanism.   I do think I have exercised my right brain through MD throughout the years that I know I am a creative person and that I can move from maladaptive daydreaming to manifesting my dreams.  One day I will write that book or two I want to do.  I just have to start with the page and trust the process.

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