Wild Minds network

Maladaptive Daydreaming: where wild minds come to rest

I have found somewhere

Hello all. I'm Sandra. I'm 28, single, and I have a young daughter. Over my life I have battled different addictions, when I think I have pinpointed my problem, out seems like it is just an overlying issue of something else. I keep peeling back layers. I recently deserted seeing a counselor for depression/ sex addiction. I don't lose my virginity until I was 21, I made up for a lot of lost time the first couple of years but 'normal people' duo way more than I did. The biggest part of my sex addiction is controlling, pervasive sexual thoughts and fantasies. I very easily trail off in a sexual fantasy would and I can't fully concentrate on anything. But I don't only have sexual fantasies. I have had what I thought to be an extremely overactive imagination for as long as I can remember. I built an imaginary world for myself and named it at about 6 years old. Very elaborate. I would suit at school, waiting for it to let out do I could go home and go there. I feel very isolated because of my issues and need to share with someone that understands

4 members like this

Next Post >

Comment

You need to be a member of Wild Minds network to add comments!

Join Wild Minds network

Comment by Sandra on January 8, 2014 at 8:28pm: Samantha, at just 3 years old my little girl has asked me who I'm talking to. And Jessica, it does feel better to an extent, I can tell her what happened to me but I don't feel comfortable telling her about me

Comment by Queen Dopamine on January 8, 2014 at 10:49am: Oh wow. I'm glad you guys got that straightened out. But I'm sure that made you feel pretty crappy.

Comment by Sandra on January 7, 2014 at 1:35pm: Is what I thought. I called her last night, freaking out. I told her about a lot of things she didn't know from my childhood, and she started freaking out, saying how terrible a friend she feels like for not knowing. And that we are best friends, and will be forever

Comment by Sandra on January 7, 2014 at 1:24pm: We went to different colleges. She excelled, I did poorly. It was assumed it was because I partied too much. I did party, but I knew that wasn't the reason, but I didn't even know what was. I would sit down with my textbooks for hrs, reading the same paragraph over and over and over, not remembering the beginning by the time I got to the end. So, basically I wasn't living up to my potential so she cut ties with a loser....

Comment by Queen Dopamine on January 6, 2014 at 4:30pm: Oh my gosh, I relate to that so much. I could be really funny and interesting, once I was with a group or one particular friend at least that I was comfortable with. But my friends also started disappearing, some moved away from me, then I left my various jobs where I had made connections, and people just lost touch. What did you do that your ex-best friend dumped you for? I can see why that would translate to you letting her have it, metaphorically speaking.

Comment by Sandra on January 6, 2014 at 4:00pm: I think what made me realize something was very wrong is when ex best friend wouldn't return my calls or texts and I started angrily 'talking to her'..

Comment by Sandra on January 6, 2014 at 3:57pm: I'm smart, funny, and people tell me I'm attractive. But I have no real friends. When I am in a room full of people, I feel more alone than I do alone with my fantasies. Even my very best friend has jumped ship. I used to be the one that always had the punch line. I provided comic relief. When I was no longer able to hide behind Jokes and started reaching out, more and more of my 'friends' disappeared. Being inside myself hurts way less than the rejection of the world sometimes. But to 'wake up' and realized that you have created an alternate reality and that you have implanted the people you wish were really there, is very sad

Comment by Queen Dopamine on January 6, 2014 at 1:58pm: I understand how that feels. It's like we need to be obsessed with/addicted to something. And if we can't have one of those things, then another one will pop up. It can be incredibly difficult and confusing at times. I certainly don't like to binge eat, so I'm glad when I can do almost anything else. And I feel guilty of I stay in that sexual fantasy world too long, too. Because there's a stigma attached to that as well. Overall it's hard to control what exactly you're attached to, but I guess that's part of the craziness of it.

Comment by Sandra on January 6, 2014 at 1:39pm: ...sometimes, all of my other addictions went haywire and I started binging on everything.. I am currently trying to find my way back to some normalcy

Comment by Sandra on January 6, 2014 at 1:37pm: And your story makes me feel more normal, or at least I'm not the only one on earth like this. I started therapy November. It's kinda like I need to indulge in my vices in certain amounts. When my counselor told me to try to attempt to abstain from the 'going into a sexual fantasy world' and watching the things I watch