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How can I get through this without daydreaming?

     I know everybody gets their heart broken at some point in their life. I always thought people exaggerated the pain but if anything they undersold it. This is the worst grief I have ever felt. I go through the day and just realize I have tears going down my face and I don't even notice it, it's embarrassing. I was so happy and now it's gone, and everytime I think about it I just wanna scream. And the only thing that helps me feel better is daydreaming. But I don't want to do that anymore. But I have nothing. I am literally stuck everyday with just my thoughts and they always go back to him, and I can hardly breathe and I usually end up texting him, making things worse and feeling even worse making a fool out of myself. But I don't know what to do. If I don't daydream all I can do is think about him which may be even worse. It's been months and it is getting worse. And the only time I feel better is when I daydream, and of course after the high from that I feel even worse. I just don't know how else to cope. I've talked about it and everything, but it doesn't help. I don't have friends I can hang out with. I sit in a pitch black room all day and I wait for it to be a socially acceptable time to go to sleep, and that is my life right now. He was all I had, and now I have to stand on my own two feet, and I don't have the strength to stand. 

     How do you handle these things without daydreaming? I can't swallow the pain down, it's too much to hide and I get all pathetic and call him all the time and it makes me feel like such an awful person because I should want him to be happy more than I want to be with him. I'm either wasting my time daydreaming or I'm in more emotional pain than I have ever felt and I don't know which is worse

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Comment by Amid on July 2, 2014 at 9:48pm

I'm a boy, but I understand you Amanda. I had MD since i was 4 or 5, I did everything, I told that to my parent, to some of my friends, I thought I lost my mind. I went to many doctors, I took many drugs, I lost many chances in my life, many relationships and event...

one day I told myself I have to Stop! now i took Zoloft and hopefully it controlled it.

there's always chance, I don't know you lost him or he doesn't want you anymore but in both of them you are not to blame.

Love Yourself... You have to.

xoxo

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