hello. I'm 17 years old, I'm Brazilian and I've had daydreams for as long as I can remember. I remember when I was 5 years old and fantasized about movie actors and it was always something romantic. when I liked an actor he always became my partner in my head. and things were real on a level I can't explain. but in the pandemic things got difficult, I practically lived in dreams, I didn't leave the house without my headphones, I even bought several headphones in the year because if they ran out my source of joy would end, and it was just me listening to music that I would go to my scenario. she started talking to herself, screaming, dancing and acting like I was really the actress in my head. active depersonalization many, many times for this. my little dog died and I pretended it wasn't in my life, I just went to live my little world. today I feel very guilty for having been so apathetic in the situation, this daydream makes me apathetic about EVERYTHING. when I listen to a conversation in real life I transfer it quickly to my mind, I observe people to live in daydreams. I don't know what else to do, I don't even have the concentration to study, I can't abandon it anymore, sometimes I travel involuntarily. makes me want to cry thinking about how much it's hurting me

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Comment by Jessica Ballantyne on July 11, 2023 at 12:17pm

I had the same thing going on as an infant. My eyes would look up and I'd laugh. Apparently, it happened again when I was a teen. It also didn't occur to me, until I got older, that most people don't do it. I can only think, they don't have my brain, and it's wired a certain way to imagine things. 

Comment by Dee Wards on July 11, 2023 at 12:11pm

I’ve really been encouraged by reading the accounts on this site.  I researched the topic several years and cane up empty. There must be a lot of people who have this thing.  I almost call it a gift, because it has gotten me through some tough times. And recently it brought me to an epiphany!  I feel really good about that.  

My mom says that as a baby, I would sit in my highchair during meals and look around and laugh at nothing she could see.  I must have been daydreaming.  I don’t recall a time i didn’t do it. Cartoon characters entertained me. I actually thought everyone did until i got much older. And, how do we know that most people don’t do it?  Are they reliable reporters?  Hmmmm…..

I have spent the last few years helping others.  I work, but i also help out some family members a lot.  I haven’t been as happy as I want to be or fulfilled.  Then, the DD went into overdrive. It did startle me. It was a very positive and exciting daydream.  After a couple of days, it hit me what it was saying!  I now know what i want and I’ve set out a plan for how to get it.  It’ll be a lot of work, but that’s ok.  I plan to utilize the DD as I do the work.  The first part is getting in the best health and level of fitness that I can.  I’ve already focused on healthy eating.  

Comment by Jessica Ballantyne on June 26, 2023 at 1:43pm

I must admit. As a young person. I depended on my fantasies to show me what I would've wanted to see in real life. I was strongly inspired by books and movies, and had crushes on movie actors. I was going on this funky journey in my youth and early adulthood. I convinced myself I can find a real person who will want to have a relationship with me. Regards, I never connected with others on any level, let alone the opposite sex. I honestly didn't attract people to save my backside. I wondered if I've been deluding myself, or maybe I found the truth hard to face. Moving forward, I look back at my MD life, and realize what a big mistake I made. It was so addictive and made me feel good about myself. My health and wellbeing and lifestyle suffered the consequences. I wonder if my life will ever go back to being amazing.

Comment by Jessica Ballantyne on June 26, 2023 at 9:58am

I'm 37. Just like you, I daydreamed all through my life. Instead of setting real life goals, making things happen and work out, I daydreamed about all the things I wanted. It came with a cost. I got absolutely nowhere and I wasn't successful. I turned out all alone, full of fear and uncertainty. I didn't get far in my career, nor with friends and relationships. I think it's because I didn't go the lengths and work hard to make sure everything was fine. I realized THAT IS just life. You have to deal with LIFE. You're going to be facing challenges out there, even more than you can imagine. I made the mistake of daydreaming excessively to a degree it distracted me from life. I was absolutely invisible—nobody could've known what Jessica was going through. Nobody cared about my satisfaction, but me. Then when I lost my last job to the pandemic, it was painful to get back on the battle. Rough things are going to happen if you don't take care. Daydreaming is really not going to solve your problems. It might make you temporarily happy and at ease. It does not make your life better. My family even found out what I've been up to, and they weren't happy about it. In fact, MDD pulled me away from having a better relationship with my family and others, because it made me so very quiet and absent. Even my best friend had a problem with me. Everybody left me. Now I have to start over. So I felt the sting, and pushed forward, learning not to be pulled back into MD. 

Comment by Camoran on April 25, 2023 at 5:32am

You're farther ahead than you may realize. Only 17 years old and you've already learned what it really means to lose yourself to this kind of daydreaming. Don't let that lesson go to waste.

Look beyond the illusion, see what it's hiding. Don't try to shut away the emotions that pushed you into that cursed daydream in the first place, they will only keep beating on the walls until they crumble. Listen to the depths of your mind until they have nothing left to tell you. Take it all in, process it, let it run its course. Clarity is the only thing that matters.

Comment by julia on April 24, 2023 at 11:47am
Thank you so much for this!! for a long time I felt too alone to the point of facing real life and having suicidal thoughts because in my head I just felt that way, I thought that something was very wrong and that my life would never get on track. but reading things like this (excuse the expression) reassures me a little because it shows me that I have chances to get out of this. If you need anything I'm available :)
Comment by Klara on April 24, 2023 at 11:40am

hey, I´m 18 years old and from Germany. I have been experiencing the same things. I´ve daydreamed ever since I can think. Since I am little I´ve had a wild imagination and I used to talk to myself and not even hear my parents talking to me. When I was around 10 I started to dance and walk around my room for hours. My daydreams were usually triggered by movies and books. After I recieved my first phone it got even worse, because I had constant access to music and series. It got a lot worse in 2018 when one of my parents died. I tried to flee into my imaginational world, but every time I felt so guilty because I was trying to forget about my dad. During this time my daydreams were very intense and I would constantly break new headphones. When covid hid I didn´t leave my home for a month and all I would do is daydream. I stopped caring about school and my health. I heavily depersonalized and lost a lot of friends. I also feal really guilty for constantly not being present during conversations and always either romanticizing real people in my dreams or turn them into horrible people.

One technique that helps me from time to time is writing in some kind of journal. It helps me be more aware of what I dream about and it helps me realize why I do it. Write down what you are dreaming about in detail and for how long. If you pactice this kind of mindfulness you will slowly become more and more aware when your mind starts to shift. It is something that everyone is able to learn. So please know that you are not alone in this and that there are many people who feel the exact same way. It´s understandable to cry sometimes, but never loose hope

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