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Maladaptive Daydreaming: where wild minds come to rest
Hard past couple months.
I hate snapping back into reality, letting my consciousness sink back in to this mainstream current that i swim against.
Once you get used to something, it's hard going on without it.
Once you're use to the happiness in your daydreams, the potential you consciously possess to create this beautiful world within yourself....why WOULD you want to snap back in reality? To feel connected to people who are mentally half dead anyway?
I shouldn't be mean, but detachment makes you bitter to the rest of the world. You feel disconnected for so long that you eventually feel like thats how things are suppose to be, and nobody will feel the need to change it for you.
*Nobody can save you but yourself* -- Can i just say, if that statement is true, I am fucked.
What it really comes down to is that you ARE in reality and you unforuntately ARE stuck here. and your day dreams? they're NEVER going to happen. you can make the realistic ones happen in an ambitious and goal-like manner....but you'lll never achieve that perfect world.
This realization, absolutely crushes me.
I could day dream all day and be in the best mood ever all due to myself and my mind, but then i lay my head down to sleep and three words won't stop echoing: "It's all lies".
Because they are.
Good mood is now gone. all that hard work and creating for the day has gone to waste. You can't channel your MD if you're emotionally unstable, it will feel helpless to transform it into something creative, productive. I know that whenever i think of putting it to good use, i shrug, or sigh, or even cry haha. Because as happy as it makes me, it crushes me to know that the only good its doing is for me and me only, and i'm not actually GETTING anywhere.
And what is the use of "getting anywhere" when you feel disconnected as it is? lol.
One big contradiction. this blog ends now.
Once you get used to something, it's hard going on without it.
Once you're use to the happiness in your daydreams, the potential you consciously possess to create this beautiful world within yourself....why WOULD you want to snap back in reality? To feel connected to people who are mentally half dead anyway?
I shouldn't be mean, but detachment makes you bitter to the rest of the world. You feel disconnected for so long that you eventually feel like thats how things are suppose to be, and nobody will feel the need to change it for you.
*Nobody can save you but yourself* -- Can i just say, if that statement is true, I am fucked.
What it really comes down to is that you ARE in reality and you unforuntately ARE stuck here. and your day dreams? they're NEVER going to happen. you can make the realistic ones happen in an ambitious and goal-like manner....but you'lll never achieve that perfect world.
This realization, absolutely crushes me.
I could day dream all day and be in the best mood ever all due to myself and my mind, but then i lay my head down to sleep and three words won't stop echoing: "It's all lies".
Because they are.
Good mood is now gone. all that hard work and creating for the day has gone to waste. You can't channel your MD if you're emotionally unstable, it will feel helpless to transform it into something creative, productive. I know that whenever i think of putting it to good use, i shrug, or sigh, or even cry haha. Because as happy as it makes me, it crushes me to know that the only good its doing is for me and me only, and i'm not actually GETTING anywhere.
And what is the use of "getting anywhere" when you feel disconnected as it is? lol.
One big contradiction. this blog ends now.
Views: 97
Comment
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Comment by J Noland on August 18, 2011 at 6:44pm
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Me too. Well said, in so many ways. Like building a beautiful sand castle just so I can tear it all down.
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Comment by Mel BabyDollieDeath D on August 18, 2011 at 5:54pm
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Welcome to my life ... =(
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