Fiction is best

[Sara Monster]

So from what I've read I have all the symptoms of maladaptive daydreaming. I daydream excessively, but I always thought it was normal. I'd rather think than pay attention to certain things, though sometime it comes without warning and I find myself spacing out in important conversations. My daydreams hardly ever include me, unless I'm thinking about my life. When I fantasize I'm not in it, cause I don't really like me that much, and would rather be someone else. But this never seemed like a problem for me. Although I have picked up a nervous tick, where I tap my fingers whenever I think.

 

I really do enjoy day dreaming, for a little while I can just escape. But I know that sounds really crazy and addict like. I guess I'm really kinda depressed. Basically things happen in my life, and the outside world that I hate, and I'd rather daydream and ignore it. I guess I really hate reality, I'd rather live in my own world.

 

I suppose it started when I was a kid. I never had imaginary friends but I lived in imaginary places. In the third grade I literally had no friends in my class, so I was always alone. Being alone caused me to daydream more and more, and it never stopped. :/

 

Anyways I do like daydreaming a lot, but I don't know it I want to stop, so what do you think I should do?

[Sara Monster]

I think it's true that daydreaming tends to isolate us.  It's not that I want to talk to people like TJ, it's just I like to keep some things secret. Day dreaming's one of them, if people knew what I truly thought of them, some of them would probably hate me, or think I need serious help.

I always seem to ponder about life, I change form being extremely happy and seeing the best in life, to seeing the absolute worst in life. I put myself in the shoes of others in a form of empathy I guess, and imagine what it'd be like to be them, or put my shoes in a fake person and give them a life to see what would happen if this or that happens. I do this because I've always wanted to be someone else. But, I suppose it's given me a strange outlook on life.

Anyways, I daydream and keep secrets cause I feel like no one would understand, or maybe even want to understand. I'm not sure what point I'm trying to say, but oh well.

[Tila]

Haha...."where are the brakes?!" indeed!

[Sara Monster]

Thank you, and that really does help, I do need to find better ways to cope, and stop putting my feelings into bottles.  Mayb e I should try to face the world head on too.

[Nico Lilly]

Hi Sara,

Like you I use daydreaming as a coping mechanism when things happen in my life that I can't deal with. Ultimately this has resulted in me having little-to-no coping skills in the real world, and my personal growth has been stunted because I ignore problems rather than dealing with them and learning from them.

I am trying to work on this, because life isn't meant to be perfect, and I know things will always happen out of my control and I need to be able to deal with them in a constructive way. Sometimes being upset and depressed and angry is the best way to deal with things, because it's part of letting ourselves feel real human emotions. There's no shame in feeling human.

Running and escaping from real emotions into the daydream world cannot be healthy, this is what I personally am working on right now. Facing the real world head on.

Throughout this forum you will find people like yourself, that are trying to either stop, slow down or at least control their daydreams so their lives are more in balance. There is no easy answer or cure that I have found. This is part of why we are all here I guess, we all want answers or at least support for this.

I personally don't want to stop, I just want to live more in the real world and give more focused time and attention to my real life. This takes a lot of practising awareness and forcing myself to live in the moment.

Anyway I probably haven't been much help, but at least know that you are not alone.