Maladaptive Daydreaming: where wild minds come to rest
I use my MD as a means of escape. I lie to myself, saying it really helps me but in the end I know it’s just an excuse. With each and every daydream that I have I lose another piece of myself. I use my MD as a distraction from my own feelings and emotions so I don’t have to face them. It’s so hard to even explain what I’m feeling on a normal basis and I write most things off as "whatever" and play indifferent. But it’s because I‘m not sure how I should feel anymore. I run away from the truth and bury myself within the world I created in my head, but it can only stay perfect for so long before what I was running from reaches me there too. Seeping in through the cracks until the one thing that made me content is now leaving me with a sense of unease and emptiness as well. With this false sense of happiness. I can’t remember the last time I was truly happy, because even when I claim to be happy I still feel sad. I feel like I'm living just to take up space and suck up air, without a purpose. Like I'm alive but dead at the same time. I don't know how to cope with anything that I feel and I'm in a rut. I don't even begin to know where or how to start fixing it.