Here's my problem, I really just want to know if anybody has suggestions to help because my Maladaptive daydreaming is just getting to the stage where it is making me feel like i'm crazy (which i know i'm not). Okay for a little backstory just incase it helps at all, I started Maladaptive daydreaming about 4 and a half years ago and until about a year ago i saw nothing wrong with it. Because why would you stop something that made you happy right? but then it started affecting my grades because whenever i would start studying i would daydream and then it started affecting my ability to socialise. I believe that i've got it because i have pretty bad anxiety. About 6 weeks ago i was able to stop for about a week and then it started again even worse than it had been previously and then about two weeks later I stopped for about 2 days and then had to started again because i just got so upset because it was like the one thing that made me happy. Also the two times i stopped i got this really weird like 'empty' feeling in my stomach. 

I've done a awful lot of research on it and just about everyone says find your triggers but the problem is my triggers are things that i really enjoy - for example a part of my daydream is involved in the fashion industry which i am genuinely interested in and enjoy in the real world yet most of them time i think about it or look at it the daydreams start. Another one which is a big thing is there is this celebrity that no matter how many times the plot changes is always my boyfriend in the story and the thing that makes this worse for me is that i really enjoy his music and enjoy how he acts as a person so i dont just want to stop engaging with him. 

One last thing i have no control over it what so ever like when it wants to start it will and it keeps my awake at night and even if i'm trying to do work for school i get to distracted thinking about it.

I know none of this really makes any sense i'm just kind of writing what comes to my head because i'm starting to feel desperate to get it to stop.

If anyone who has been able to stop or has lessened the amount that they daydream has any suggestions they would be so greatly appreciated


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Comment by Camoran on June 15, 2018 at 1:11pm

That empty feeling in your stomach is what reality feels like when you snap back into it. Silent, cold and endlessly desolate. It's what remains after the massive illusions born of your imagination finally leave. I'll take a wild guess here: all the good things you see in your daydreams are the ghosts of things you desperately want in your life, but for some reason you don't have them. So how do you deal with the impossibility? You simulate them, just like a great many others here do, but it's not good enough, is it? It still feels fake. You know for a fact that it's fake. And so it's every bit as bitter as it can be. But then why continue this forced puppet show?

Or maybe I'm completely wrong, who knows, but I still think it's worth thinking about.

Comment by Kitt Coltrane on June 15, 2018 at 5:15am

First of all, know that you arent alone. Second, know that what you are experiencing seems to be normal side effects of MDD. I have had this issue since I can remember. I have an extensive education, a career, hobbies and a husband. You can learn how to manage this, but you need to see someone about your anxiety issues. The way i have managed my MDD is that i plan it. I set aside time each day to do while exercising. This has helped my real life and my health. I walk and listen to music everyday. I have conditioned myself to wait by catching myself daydreaming, then abruptly stopping it by saying, this isnt your time for that. I know this is hard, but it can be done. It is just about compartmentalizing your areas of life. I get a few hours of music and walking a day for this a tivity, and am grateful for it. Work on your anxiety, get some professional help and you can manage this. 

Comment by JenBren on May 28, 2018 at 5:53pm

I go through phases where my daydreaming it out of control so I understand.

Have you read the posts on here from Eretaia? They helped me understand a great deal. You can do a search for them if you haven't already. In the past I got through studying for exams or work by literally forcing my character to go to work. Sounds odd but it worked. When she worked, I worked. But that only helped in that moment. You have to do the work to get this under control - it won't happen overnight. Rather than eliminate your triggers, maybe focus on what the cause is behind the daydreaming. For me, I know when I'm happier with life, the need to daydream is minimal. I have to actively seek out positive and new experiences, keep busy, keep challenged and make myself happy in ways other than daydreaming. Be patient and allow yourself time. 

Comment by Silver Swan on May 27, 2018 at 8:38am

MDD does make you happier in a way. However, when you wake up, that happiness eventually turns into a nightmare. Your life begins to feel empty and vacant in a very unsettling and hapless way, well, because you've neglected you real life existance, over a certain period of time. Your going to wake up and see nothing. You've been too out of it to commit to a successful and relationship filled life. To be honest, that can be quite horrible.

I got MD because I felt socially anxious and left out, starting when I was 12. My maladaptive day dreams were so powerful that my high school grades declined to Cs and Ds. I only aced and got a role in English. At 18, I wound up going to an Art College. I didn't get accepted anywhere else. In my 20's, I was almost poor and broke, getting only contract positions, so I couldn't afford to move out. At some of my jobs, Employers have actually noticed that I was day dreaming at times, and weren't one bit happy about it. I even got into a load of trouble with my family about my secret day dream life. I never had any relationships, because it did effect how I socialized, as I was too busy living in a far away place, evoking faces and reactions to something that wasn't there, so people were able to tell whenever I disappeared.

Yes, maladaptive day dreaming can make you very happy when your naive to it's effects. However, I ultimately had to wake up one day, and realize what I've actually done. The realization was so overbearing, shocking, embarrassing and it turned my face blue. Scary thing is, my life could have looked a lot more awesome if I never did compulsive fantasizing.

Yes, maladaptive day dreaming also made me feel as if I was going crazy. I started talking non-stop to myself, as if I believed imaginary friends were listening to me. I also broke out with laughter when a funny story was taking place in my mind. If my mind gets preoccupied, my eyes would just peer around the room, and somebody got creeped out, because I'm stared directly at them for no apparent reason. People would just look at me like I'm totally nuts. So I never made too many friends over the decades. Frankly, I don't blame them, because they probably through I was some sort of a weirdo. SO yes, I had to quit and normalize!

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