It's my 8th day without MD. I had a weird dream and then I tried to stop. 
Now a few days have passed.
My brain says it wasn't that bad, you can live with it. Return to it.

I don't want to, I want to make it this time. But it's very difficult to accept the amount 
of time I've wasted all these years. All the chances, all the possibilities.
What I know from the last few times and hit me again, is this overwhelming sadness. 

It's like you've lost something and now there's nothing good left. 
But what do I have if I no longer have my own world? What's left for me?
In my world I am someone, I can do something, I love someone.
At the same time, I know that something new can only emerge if I finally let go of the old. 
It's so hard, but I'm really trying.

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Comment by Mils on October 8, 2024 at 3:30am

Hey, I'm in the same boat right now. You're doing amazing! 8 days is incredible! What helped me in attempted to rebuild my real life was imagining what I wanted it to look like in 5, 10 years, and it was the opposite of what I daydreamed of. It's really difficult at the start, but 8 days is amazing, keep going, and good luck! :)

Comment by Schatten on September 2, 2024 at 9:06am

Thank you John. I think I need more time, I have to get used to having only one life.

Comment by John Alves on September 1, 2024 at 1:15pm
Just imagine the different possibilities now that you've woken up, it helps me on difficult days.

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