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My head has been in a weird space lately. Can't identify what triggered the change, but I felt a noticeable shift about three weeks ago. I'd just moved away from one DD scenario & when I went to make…

My head has been in a weird space lately. Can't identify what triggered the change, but I felt a noticeable shift about three weeks ago. I'd just moved away from one DD scenario & when I went to make the jump to another world, I couldn't connect with it. It was quite disconcerting & I felt as though I were in some strange limbo. When the connection with the new DD didn't occur, I thought that perhaps I wasn't ready to leave my previous DD. When I revisited that world, I felt just as emotionally removed. Typically, when I DD, I experience an intense emotional connection with my characters and it gives me such joy and peace; something to look forward to. Right now I feel as though I'm grasping at straws, reaching for tried-and-true scenarios and not even those are striking a familiar chord. I've been trying to revisit old scenarios and re-write the story to make it fresh again, but that hasn't gotten me very far as of yet. Strange how adrift and disconnected I feel.

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Comment by Cruel Ella on March 22, 2015 at 9:23pm

This happens to me sometimes too. It usually happens when I'm trying to make a transition from one group of characters to another. It's a combination of missing the connection I used to have with my old characters and the unfamiliarity of trying out combinations of new characters. It can be a very difficult transition and I often spend anywhere from days to months "grieving" over my old characters while looking for new ones to take their places. Oddly enough, sometimes the most effective way to end my angst over old characters is to have them die in the story. Simply sending them away to "live" in another part of my world doesn't work, because I know they're still there in the back of my mind and that they'll miss me and become jealous of my new characters. Allowing them to die gives me a sense of finality and closure. I'm never sad when I allow  a stubborn old character to be put to rest; it actually makes me feel very peaceful because it gives me an excuse to let go of them for good. The last time I allowed characters from an old and tired daydream to die, I was pleasantly surprised by how quickly the void was filled by a new daydream. It happened very quickly and spontaneously, with no prodding on my part.

Sorry for rambling. I hope I made some sort of sense.

Comment by OhMyMagenta on March 20, 2015 at 2:45pm
Huh. Funny you mention stress. My job is extremely stressful, so that very well may be part of my issue, but the level of stress has not changed much since I began working there three years ago. Perhaps it's taking its toll more now. In general I've found that when I'm dealing with a significant life stressor/change, I'm too distracted and can't DD.
Comment by Ivy White on March 20, 2015 at 6:10am

Oh dear I had been battling the same thing and what Eretaia says is very true, I am stressed out completely. Maybe that is the case for you too? 

I sometimes take those "momentary MD lapses" to turn some of my MDD into stories and art. That way I keep the connection with the worlds.

Comment by Eretaia on March 20, 2015 at 5:44am

It's probably just a phase caused by your mood worsening. When it worsens, you don't necessarily feel depressed, but rather, you stop feeling, you get detached and go into an apathetic and somewhat anhedonic state, and in these cases, MD isn't enough of a fix to stir you up since its stimulant properties aren't high enough. Have you been stressed lately by chance? This tends to happen when we're understimulated which causes all our functions to fall so low that not even MD can bring them up.

Comment by Katherine Milano on March 19, 2015 at 10:00pm

I get this sometimes too. I know that feeling of trying on a lot of different DDs, trying to find the one that fits with the mood you are in. I actually find when I feel like this that the best thing to do is to stop trying to DD. When I  would normally DD, I just do something else. It never takes long for the emotional connection to return. Just my experience.

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