Feeling bad about my kitty

[Cordellia Amethyste Rose]

I adopted my 2nd cat, Mia, about 2 years ago.  She's a beautiful, half Siamese or half Burmese lady.  I got her so my cat, Grendel, would have company.  He was so needy and I was working full time at the time.  I always wondered whether it was fair to have even 1 kitty in a 425 square foot studio.  After I got Mia, I kept agonizing over it.  Now 2 years later, after going to the vet, we found out that she gained a little weight.  She's just over 10 lbs so not obese by any means, but it shows me how inactive she is.  She doesn't run around and play as much as she used to.  I just got them a big new kitty tree, and she hasn't climbed all over it like I'd hoped.  I just keep wondering if I'm not being cruel and selfish.  She's grown up with Grendel, and they really love each other.  We'd both be heart-broken if I gave her up, but I still wonder if she can ever be happy in such a small apartment.  I've tried taking her out on a leash, but it's so hard when you have my anxieties.  At first when I would do it, she'd always want to crawl under things like cars, so I'd get really scared.  I'm always afraid she'll get off her leash.  I started taking her out in her carrier with a leash attached, hoping she'll want to climb out, but she never does.  I made the mistake of letting them run around the hallway outside my door when she was a baby.  She got addicted to it, but then we were told we couldn't do that anymore.  Then it really started to feel like I was being cruel because her world got even smaller.  She doesn't seem to enjoy going out in the carrier, and she's not allowed to run around in the hall.  She's stuck living in 425 square feet 24/7, and she's slowly gaining weight and not climbing as much as she used to.  She sleeps most of the day.  So does her brother, but he looks content.  They wrestle a little and chase each other around a little.  He keeps her butt and ears clean.  He's a good big brother, and we both love her so much.  I just wish I knew I could make her happier here.  Grendel loves small spaces and often crawls under furniture to sleep for hours.  He's perfectly suited for this place.

[Cordellia Amethyste Rose]

For a tiny studio, we have 2 decently sized climbers.  The new one we got has 10 scratching posts.  When we got the first one she was all over it before I could get it together.  She's only almost 3 years old and shows much less interest in climbing, though the new one has many more levels.

[Cordellia Amethyste Rose]

She doesn't even like tuna!  Lol.  For some reason, she gets really snuggly in the bathroom, even when I'm trying to focus on......other things.  Both my cats sleep all day except when they wake up to whine, but for some reason she just feels different.  Grendel seems to contentedly sleep all day long and is curled up just so sweetly.  He's finally warming up to his new climber and has been in the same spot all afternoon.  She just seems really bored and mopey.  She whines but doesn't seem to want anything that I do.  I tried playing with her on the floor, and she likes that for a few mins but gets bored quickly.  She only goes for mice when she's in the right mood.  She just gets bored really easily, and I feel so bad for her.  At least with my male, I know how to please him when he whines.  

 

I had no idea that male cats were generally more snuggly than females.  I just knew that's how mine are.  Mia snuggled with me today earlier.  She goes through phases.  Sometimes she wants to snuggle whenever I sit on the recliner, and sometimes she stays away and only wants to snuggle on the bathroom floor when I'm.........busy.  

[roxanne]

Trying to get her to play interactively is really good advice.  They are most likely to play with something that is moving.  Females often don't want picked up & in general aren't as snuggly.  Over the years I've found people want female dogs (because of the humping), and male cats (because they are seen as a lot friendlier.)  It isn't really that cut & dried but females are just naturally warier.  I've worked for years with feral cats - followed, tamed, caught, placed & just watched in the wild until we had a home for them, before I moved in to catch them.  And there were definite differences between male & female.

I'm not sure how old she is, but spayed cats do gain weight as they get older.  10 pounds isn't bad, but probably shouldn't go over. ( People & pets of people are the only species that have weight problems.)  She may be more contented than you think, may have slowed down any way.  Cats sleep 18 hours a day. ( I have a 12 year old female, that probably sleeps about 22.) And believe me, working with animals, I can tell you, she is so much better off than most animals.  I know you want the absolute best for her, but she probably is quite happy.  (She's probably looked in the mirror and figured that the mopey look will get her more tuna.)

[Patty]

Do you get on the floor with her?  Sometimes kitties want you on their level, laying down so you are the same height and not so towering.  Im not a cat expert or anything, but I have had 2 cats for 10  years so I have a bit of experience with those 2.   I know my one cat doesnt like to be petted, he will bite me, but he likes to play.  They are all different i guess.   A friend of mine had a cat for 4 or 5 years before the cat loosened up enough to play with her.  The cat was abused before she got her and it just took her a while to relax - 4 years!  My one cat didnt make a sound for 2 or 3 years when we first got him, now he wont shut up, so maybe she just needs more time to be trusting?  Again, I have no idea about cats in general, just 2 or 3 of them.  : )

[Cordellia Amethyste Rose]

My floor is covered in all kinds of kitty toys and anything they might possibly find amusing.  She plays a little but not a lot.  She whines at me but wiggles away when I pet her often.  She likes to follow me into the bathroom and becomes really affectionate in there for some reason.  I pet her often.  She snuggles with me in bed right before I get up.  She gets snuggly sometimes.  My male kitty is really easy to please.  He's either sleeping or wants love and play time.  I know exactly how to make him happy every time.  He either wants me to get on top of him and snuggle him or chase him around and play.  She doesn't like either.  I just wish I knew how to make her happy.  As a result she seems really mopey to me.

[Patty]

Do you play with her inside?  We make paper balls for our cats to run after.   Its a lot of work to keep them active, but they are almost 10 years and run around like crazy inside.   I guess my advice is to find ways to make her run around inside (if she's willing).  Make little paper balls, make little balls out of pipe cleaners - anything that might make her think its a mouse then throw it along the floor and see if she'll go for it.  Or move it very very slowly in front of her paws.  Or trail your robe belt along the floor until it goes out of view of the cat, that will spark her interest and she might get up and run after it? Hopefully?  Will she get in a paper bag?  One of ours wont but the other one loves it, then I take my robe belt and run it along in front of the bag while I stand behind it and he loves sticking his paw out.  Just try something to get her to move inside and it might help.??