I first joined this forum when I was 14 or 15. I used to be super active on here, reading every new post and commenting a lot. I became much less active when I was 16 and my MD took a turn for the worse. Since the daydream was partly augmented reality based, I almost never had to shut it off, and it got to the point where I didn’t want to discuss MD much because I didn’t want to dwell on the fact that it wasn’t real.
When I was 17, I completely recovered. (More on that later, probably.) I thought about coming back to make a post describing my recovery, but I don’t think I ever did. I wasn’t sure if I wanted people to copy the things I did to get better because I didn’t know if my recovery would last.
To make a long story very short, it only kind of lasted. I have a lot of trauma from my childhood and adolescence, and sometimes it makes me want to hide from everyone and everything. I don’t believe I fit the clinical definition of MD anymore, but I believe that I use fiction as an unhealthy coping mechanism, whether it’s watching shows that I know will make me upset because I have a parasocial relationship with the characters or having daydreams that aren’t addictive but otherwise very MD-like. I’m hoping that by coming back here, I can find support and be held accountable to try to cope in better ways.