As my menstrual cycle peak time approaches my MDD gets, well, excessive. I always noticed this. But I realized something else my MDD started at age 11 which I always thought was related to the day that the ambulance came to my home for my dad when he had his stroke. But age 11 is when I hit puberty.

If my MDD elevates and goes down with my menstrual cycle, some chemical imbalance could be an underlying contributor. How did I not see this earlier. But what tests should I get done? I'm…

Twas a terrible night.

So I've been working on my book for almost a year now, which means I've essentially locked myself up in a room. My MDD is not a problem from me anymore, it gets used up in creating the work, but I can't really say that all of it is positive.

Unable or unwilling to writing for some days, I either look up inane stuff on internet on my phone or I just keep thinking about the conversations I heard during week, and then some related MDD, but almost…

It's bad enough that someone so talented, an Oscar winner died in his 40s, but then anyone who loses his/her life to addiction is a tragic loss.  PSH's death was a grim reminder that addiction and staying clean/sober is a life-long battle.

Philip Seymour Hoffman was clean for 23 years, and then last year he went back to drugs. They found him dead with a syringe sticking out of his arm, and bags of heroin in his apartment. Imagine the kind of self-loathing he must have felt, imagine…

Someone mentioned in one of the discussion threads that he/she is staying away from music, and sticking to audio books. I decided to try and it has helped alot! It's like I end up visualizing the dialogue/ scenes as they are read out.  I think my need to MDD is more of a need to use my imagination.

I'm really into french and Russian literature. So I get to control my MDD and get to hear literature. Pure gold!

Do try it.

It's Mental Health Week, and about time I talked about some issues that have plagued me

Emotional abuse:

I realized a few days ago that this is the first time in my life where I dont have an emotionally abusive person in my life. My roommate moved out, and all of sudden it hit me, that I have been dealing with it for so long, its only now that I became aware of it. This scares me a little, that maybe I have a propensity to put up or choose or am unable to recognize…