So I go away to see him and this weekend. My former married guy who is now my boyfriend 3 years after the fact.Sigh. He is as intensely in love with me as he was when he was married. Me? Not so much. I find I don't like men who are in love with me as intensley as I love them, or something... I don't know I've spent so many yearsinside my head, trying to figure myself out, I just don't want to do it anymore. I have 3 ppl to pack for because both my kids are going to their dads too. I had…

Please forgive my grammar and spelling punctuation, as I have a lifetime of secrets. I wrote this at 5am this morning and my internet was down so I sent it as soon as i could. It’s just a steady stream of a reaction of finally having HOPE.

 I’m 30 years old. For 30 years I have been escaping into my own head. From a lonely little girl to a lonely adult. I’ve been diagnosed and rediagnosed with mental disorders for years and no one has known, not the expensive child…