I bought a new trigger. A new album Adele 21, So I've been on an imaginary stage dancing around as I clean the house today. The imaginary Me in Wonderland didn't particulary want to do this album, she is not an RnB fan, but her voice is so good that her record company offered he a huge advance to do the project. *Rolls Eyes*. I'm a fucking nut case!

So I've been doing really good lately, well if you can call it that. I've moved from Wonderland to dding about reality. Which is…

So I went and saw him this weekend.  I helped wreck his marriage.  We were desperately in love at one point. He left her and I got with and had a child with another douchebag. He was always there for me. Now we are taking a stab at being together. Nobody knows though until we are ready to come out of the closet so to speak. He always accepted me for exactly who I was. I'm not as intensely in love with him as I was. Maybe not even in love. But there is love there. The sleeping around with the…

So I go away to see him and this weekend. My former married guy who is now my boyfriend 3 years after the fact.Sigh. He is as intensely in love with me as he was when he was married. Me? Not so much. I find I don't like men who are in love with me as intensley as I love them, or something... I don't know I've spent so many yearsinside my head, trying to figure myself out, I just don't want to do it anymore. I have 3 ppl to pack for because both my kids are going to their dads too. I had…

Please forgive my grammar and spelling punctuation, as I have a lifetime of secrets. I wrote this at 5am this morning and my internet was down so I sent it as soon as i could. It’s just a steady stream of a reaction of finally having HOPE.

 I’m 30 years old. For 30 years I have been escaping into my own head. From a lonely little girl to a lonely adult. I’ve been diagnosed and rediagnosed with mental disorders for years and no one has known, not the expensive child…