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Jae
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BaNNY commented on Jae's blog post Why are you smiling?
"I always get that and lying always hurts..."
May 6, 2018
BaNNY liked Jae's blog post Why are you smiling?
May 6, 2018
Eleanor liked Jae's blog post Why are you smiling?
Apr 28, 2018
Jaida liked Jae's blog post Why are you smiling?
Apr 28, 2018
EllyssaJ liked Jae's blog post Why are you smiling?
Mar 21, 2018
OhMyMagenta liked Jae's blog post Why are you smiling?
Mar 20, 2018
Jae posted a blog post

Why are you smiling?

I was walking across a parking lot with my baby sister today. I can't quite remember what I was daydreaming about, but before I knew it, she looked over at me, held her eyebrows together, and asked, "why are you smiling?" followed by a smile for herself. She wanted in on the joke. I suddenly felt the cold air on my body, along with the snow-water and reality leaking into my shoes, before looking away and saying "I saw somebody that I knew." It hurt to say that. Because I know that nobody was or…See More
Mar 20, 2018
Jae commented on Daniel D Woodard's blog post Shameful Guilt
"Reading the phrase "you already know how to dream," made my night better. Thank you. "
Mar 6, 2018
Jae liked Daniel D Woodard's blog post Shameful Guilt
Mar 6, 2018
Ella liked Jae's blog post Relapse?
Mar 4, 2018
Audrey Recovery liked Jae's blog post Relapse?
Mar 4, 2018
TheSkylar89 commented on Jae's blog post Relapse?
"Hi.. I know exactly how you feel! I've been living alone and unemployed for the past few months because I have to study for my board exams and my DDs were at their peak.. wasting whole days at a time! From what I learned through trial and error…"
Mar 3, 2018
Jae posted a blog post

Relapse?

I made it a couple weeks without pacing. I relapsed recently- but in a different way than before. Usually, there was one place (my bedroom) where I could pace and daydream for hours. I've been able to avoid pacing there since February 14th, but in turn, I've begun pacing in other places, like a locked bathroom or the halls of my house when everyone is gone. It feels like a relapse, although the severity of the pacing is lowered because my time is limited and can be interrupted in the new places…See More
Mar 3, 2018
Y A liked Jae's blog post "First Snow"
Feb 9, 2018
MrsChapman liked Jae's blog post "First Snow"
Jan 31, 2018
Jae commented on Jennifer's blog post Is Anyone Else Depressed After Daydreaming?
"I feel for you.  I started around 11 years old.  Falling to the floor, after pacing for hours, is more psychologically painful than physical.  When I come back to reality, I'm reminded of the feeling that there is nothing here…"
Jan 26, 2018

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Jae's Blog

Why are you smiling?

Posted on March 20, 2018 at 4:53pm 1 Comment

I was walking across a parking lot with my baby sister today. I can't quite remember what I was daydreaming about, but before I knew it, she looked over at me, held her eyebrows together, and asked, "why are you smiling?" followed by a smile for herself. She wanted in on the joke. I suddenly felt the cold air on my body, along with the snow-water and reality leaking into my shoes, before looking away and saying "I saw somebody that I knew." 

It hurt to say that. Because I know that…

Continue

Relapse?

Posted on March 3, 2018 at 12:30pm 1 Comment

I made it a couple weeks without pacing. 

I relapsed recently- but in a different way than before. 

Usually, there was one place (my bedroom) where I could pace and daydream for hours. 

I've been able to avoid pacing there since February 14th, but in turn, I've begun pacing in other places, like a locked bathroom or the halls of my house when everyone is gone. It feels like a relapse, although the severity of the pacing is lowered because my time is limited and can be…

Continue

"First Snow"

Posted on January 22, 2018 at 1:42pm 0 Comments

A heavy snowstorm has knocked out the schools and workforce alike, blinded the streets and shaded everything milky white. You wouldn't be able to stand outside without being touched by the sky in between blinks. 

It had snowed before but it's not winter in my city unless it's like this. 

A few years back I was released from class midday when the temperature hit past -27F. 

Now it's warm and 30F, but each step in the earth feels like shallow quicksand, 'cause you fall…

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How long can I last?

Posted on December 22, 2017 at 6:00am 1 Comment

On December 21st, 2017, I didn't daydream. I wanted to see how long I could go after around four years of continuous dreaming in the day and night. It's been one day. 

 And I already feel scared.

I know that my MD is also a coping mechanism, but I think I've almost forgotten because it also felt like a way to express myself and to feel things that I had trouble feeling in the real world (instead of avoidance). Whenever I've tried stopping it before, I…

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