"When I become aware of the "silence", coming out of MaDD, I sometimes also become aware of the ringing in my ears too.
But, as far as not hearing what people around you are saying, I.M.O. that happens - to anyone - when they are…"
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Daniel C Cunningham
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violent fantasizing
Started this discussion. Last reply by Amanda Nov 16, 2020. 13 Replies 4 Likes
The thing about MaDD that is most troubling to me is the re-playing of events from my past with me coming out as the winner this time.It is humiliating to even think that I have such low self-esteem…Continue
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"I hate it when I get busted for tripping out like that. A big percentage of my DD's are violent."Revenge fantasies" as some call it. And in recent years -since I am 73 y.o. - or my body is, though inside I am 23 - I am doing a…"
"Thank you for sharing, Daniel. This is an interesting discussion. You are not alone. My personal reaction to what you describe is -- No need to feel bad! Or ashamed or embarrassed! If you need to replay an experience over and over, there's…"
"Nate, I hope you are successful with this documentary. I definitely want to participate. I was in Ohio, near Cleveland in September. Now I am near Boston. It was a nightmare for me there and a bad dream here. I was born under a bad sign. My…"
"This evening,as I was doing some business stuff online I fell into the "revenge fantasies" -
as Melanie termed it - behavior when I thought ahead to talking to a bank officer. There I am, typing away an email to a businessperson…"
"I'm in therapy 4 PTSD, Dialectic Behavior Therapy, dealing with anger and my violent tendencies. I'm learning (in person b4 Covid, by Zoom now) that not all personal encounters r abusive. I'm learning 2 assess whether an encounter is…"
"Yes, I agree that finding the right words to say at the right time is the right way to go.
And now, as adults, it seems the best we can do is to be calm under stress and maybe allow the right response to come, make a mature decision to hit…"
"I can relate. Sometimes I also imagine myself punching one of the bullies I met in high school, or a really stupid and mean coworker. Normally my daydreams are not like that, but it happens from time to time. I also recreate past conversations when…"
"Daniel,
You're absolutely right. I should have clarified: MD is a very ineffective way to deal with trauma or any other circumstances in life. I certainly believed at one point that MD was helping me process and cope with negative…"
"Melanie,
Thank you sharing this. It is almost impossible for me to believe there are other people who go through this "revenge fantasies" thing.
But as a way of processing trauma I cannot accept that. I do not feel that this has helped me…"
"Daniel,
You're definitely not alone in this. I am plagued by daydreams in which I am either a perpetrator or a victim of violent abuse. Revenge fantasies are some of my most intrusive as well. They disturb me greatly, and I wonder if I am a bad…"
"Thank you for sharing, Jenn,
I am surprised to learn than someone else is going through what I have.
At the same time I am sorry you suffered through this. You got mis-diagnosed, as I did, but it seems like you are in a safe place now. I have a…"
"As a child & teen I was abused by my parents every which way. I'm 66 now. I've experienced violent rages most of my life. Mainly against innocent people, just people who happened 2 trigger me. 2 years ago I realized I needed help. Or…"
"You’re not on your own, I experience this too."
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