Writing and MDD- Need advice

[Aquarius]

I've recently begun working on my fiction writing. I can feel every emotion of the characters and the situation, but here's the problem, my MDD went out of control. No, I'm not MDDing about the characters i'm writing about, the MDDing is just about the regular scenarios I usually daydream about.

Here's another factor: I have more physical space to myself now. Someone moved out and now i have alot of room and uninterrupted time. My theory has always been that because I cannot physically escape situations/people/fears I do so mentally- I'm aware that my MDD is an escape mechanism.

But now that I have that space, my MDD is way beyond my normal quota. This when I have / had an almost complete grip over it. At the back of mind there has always been this fear for me- that when I eventually get a place of my own my MDD might go out of whack. Is that a rational fear?

Any advice and insight will be appreciated. Especially regarding the writing.

P.S: The fiction writing is not based on any of my MDD plots

[S K]

 I made the same discovery a year and half ago though I didn't know what MD was:

more physical space/time =more daydreaming.

 I know MD is an escape and more unstructured time gives me more freedom to do it. There aren't any inhibitions left.

Even if you get your own place whether your MD goes out of control is dependent upon a lot of other factors.It depends upon free time, chores, job, friends, etc.

Have you thought of going to a cafe or a park to do your writing or one of those organizations that rents a desk to authors.You would be in a room full of people-typing away, that might just be the motivation your mind needs to focus.

I tried to write down my daydreams but I found out whatever free time I carved out I  wanted to use it for daydreaming because that made me happy and a future-contestable happiness was not something my mind was willing to bet on. This was partially because I was trying to escape an insecure present and future. 

Maybe you could create a time-table(like 1000/2000 words)per day and allow yourself to daydream as much as you want after that.

Maybe you could create a time-table (like 1000/2000 words)per day and allow yourself to daydream as much as you want after that.

For me writing in between activities like cooking, eating, watching TV, etc. though this is just a little writing/expression of my feelings in the diary/online.

This is just a haphazard mixture of my thoughts and possible tips for wring. Take care.

[Aquarius]

Hmm, so living on my own is going to aggravate my MDD- a scary thought.

You know today , just as I had a breakthrough in a story, I found myself pacing. Pacing after so many years. So writing fiction and MDD are directly related. So far I'm trying to make the best out of it. I'm trying to channel all the plot processing through visualizing.

I'm going to get to the other end - finish this current writing spell, and then look back to figure how I can manage the writing process better.

Thanks S.K and Matthew

[Aquarius]

Here's an update;

The writing phase was like finding my true North. I let myself MDD as much as I wanted. This led to vivid writing but I was at my worst phase of MDD. I paced alot, I did alot of self-talking, making facial expressions, hand gestures (this includes even self-choking too). And what's worse is that I discovered I repeat phrases. This reflected in my writing too.

My dad had hysteria. The psychologist who diagnosed him, said that he repeats sentences, phrases etc. and diagnosed him as having hysteria. So I think I may have detected that in myself too.

I was only able to write by being detached, working late at night, sometimes MDDing for 3 hours with only 1/2 hour of writing. I felt the emotions of the characters I wrote about, but I guess everyone does. My MDDs were not about the fiction pieces I was working on.

I finished 3 pieces of writing in 2 months- and its given me a great sense of accomplishment.  I'm taking a break from the literary writing , mostly because I think I was turning into a recluse, plus i got sick of my room, and my schedule is all messed up.

I want to be a writer, but don't want a writer's lifestyle. The unlimited MDD was harmful for me i think.

[Aquarius]

Odd, I found this thread.

So I have to process some feelings because I'm MDDing madly, again. It came under control, to a large extent when the Visitors were over, I so busy processing information, I had no brain space for any kind of analysis. The library helped, but the mind wanders.
Since yesterday it seems my mind is going out of whack, again. So worried about the book, what do I do, do I hit the resend button, to I redo add more and hit send. Its my life's work.Nah thats too much pressure.

Back to processing feelings- Im feeling pressured, by my own expectations, by my own perceived failings, by the lack of an upheaval in my life, compounded by the dissatisfaction of how I look, the scary big birthday due in some months, add to it the task of memorizing info for the exams, and how much i miss the Visitors, my need to be adored by them. ~phew, it's a lot. Plus the uncertainty. Anxiety, probably triggered by the lack of exercise.
It's gonna be fine. Breathe. Focus on the now.

[MatthewR]

Aquarius, you finished a book? I'm impressed. Most writers who start don't finish. What are you going to do? Seek publishing? Right now you're dealing with all the stress that goes with putting yourself out there and taking a risk with your work. That's an awful lot, but I'm glad you've persevered. Do take care. I hope you're not a recluse anymore. TTFN 

[Aquarius]

hey Matthew so good to hear from u, I thought none of  the folks I knew would be still around here. I'm looking around for a literary agent, yeah i finished the damn book. Now I'm trying to get back into the world. I have a big hole on my resume, which I have to explain some how that I was on a sabbatical to write a book. The world of finance is very unforgiving towards these things.

It's scary. Going back into the world, once again carving an identity for myself. Consciously working towards  controlling my MDD. And yeah writing some more stuff.

How about u? Did u go back to college? Fill me in

[Bronwyn]

When I got my own place, I was so tempted to pace and daydream. What usually helped me was to get outside. If I wanted to read a book or write an essay I would go to a grounding environment, like a coffee shop or a library. If I wanted to get rid of my excessive energy, I would exercise, but it had to be an exercise I enjoyed like biking.