why do people think that Maladaptive daydreaming isn't real?

[Cici W]

I really want to tell my family but I don't think that they will believe me.. I tried once and they brushed me off saying that I just had a dream.. But it isn't true! Actually this sickness makes people kind of depressed after the daydreaming part. I always feel so empty after I daydream. No one will believe me even if i told them.. but why don't 'normal' people believe in this?

[Cordellia Amethyste Rose]

Some do.  It's all about how you tell them.  If you tell them like you're confessing to something bad, then you're steering them to think it's something bad.  Also, if you tell them like you're unsure, you're steering them to question you.  Don't leave it up for debate.  They're not in a position to know better than you.  If doctors aren't even qualified to tell you about this, then what gives them the ability?  Nothing.  NO ONE, not even doctors, knows your brain better than you.  I've posted some tips for talking about it under "Does anyone know?"  Essentially it boils down to:

1) Practice.  You need to sound confident, so they won't question you as much.  Practice explaining what it is, and why it's not other things they've heard of like depression.  You can practice in a blog if you want.  Many people will often dismiss it as the next closest thing they've heard of.  This way of thinking is WRONG, but even doctors do it.  (Don't let doctors, either.)  

 

2) Take knowledge with you.  I've posted some helpful data under "Links".  Make sure they know that a real doctor is studying this and takes us seriously.  Also, there was a nice article in Scientific American Mind.  Show them that.

 

3) Strength in numbers.  There are over 1,600 people in online forums saying they have this.  That's a lot of people for it not to exist.  It's easy to dismiss one of us, but just try dismissing us all.  Feel free to send them here if it helps.  

 

4) Is it a sickness, or just something fascinating about you?  If you approach it like it's a confession, you're guiding them to thinking it's something bad you did.  Instead, approach it like it's a trait you have.  It's a way of thinking and being.  It doesn't mean you're sick.  

 

Anyway, I hope this helps. You're not alone.  We're pioneers.  That's exciting, but it also means we have a lot of work to do.  Pioneers never have it easy, but it's a fascinating time.  

[Truthful Alibi]

I think Cordellia has probably said most of this already (leave something for me to say! x(  joke LOL) but it's because MD isn't even actually recoginiszed by most doctors and psychiatrists as a mental disorder yet.

One day, people will understand Maladaptive Daydreaming better (I hope). It's a lot like other disorders - when ADHD was first discovered, people would probably have just thought 'Just because they can't concentrate/Just because they don't want to work, they make up a disorder and use it as an excuse.'

That's probably what people would have thought.

If anyone calls you sick, just because you have MD, they are the sick ones, not you.

I have sometimes found that family will often not take you seriously. Even if you are talking about things that are proven and known by many people. Like when I was trying to explain sleep paralyisis and my (night) dream, they just fell about laughing. And it was really obvious I was trying to be serious.

You have a lot of courage, though, for trying to tell your family about your MD. I don't think I could do that, unless they actually confronted me about it.

I'm sorry that your family wouldn't believe you. At least they didn't try to label you with ADHD or Asperger's Syndrome or something similar.

And you have to have it to understand it. One day, we'll make MD really well known to the world. And then you can say to your family "I told you so."

Don't give up on trying to tell them, even if they brush you off, keep on trying to explain. Eventually, they'll listen to you.

Good luck, and sorry that they wouldn't believe you.

[Nicola]

I tried telling my mum the other week and she too dismissed it, saying "well I daydream too" and she didn't grasp the severe effect it has on daily life.

I think everything has been said already and there isn't much more that I can add. I do agree though that people won't understand it and take it seriously until it is more widely known. And a lit if people put faith in doctors and feel that if a doctor hasn't heard of it then it must be made up.

My friend is a psychologist, currently studying her doctorate and she too has never heard of it. She tried to compare it with trauma victims who create a fantasy world for themselves, but MD is different as we can still differentiate between reality and fantasy.

I think, until MD becomes more recognised and acknowledged by health professionals, we will struggle to convince people to take MD seriously.