Wild Minds Network

Where wild minds come to rest

I had 2 dreams last night. They were both about things from my childhood happening again, except at the age I am now. I dreamed that my "pet" potted cactus from when I was 7 (that ironically died because I forgot to water it) came back to life and somehow returned to me from the landfill where it ended up after we threw it out. I totally forgot about my cactus until I had the dream. Then I dreamed that we went on an orca-watching tour we went on when I was 13 for a second time. In both dreams, everything started out as a better version of what really happened. I remembered to water my cactus. I got to swim with the orcas instead of watching them from afar (terrible idea in real life, LOL) and ended up taming/befriending one. But then the dreams changed. My cactus was stolen (really? Stealing a CACTUS? Who does that?! Well, it IS just a dream) and by the time we found it, it died because the person who stole it gave it weed killer. I don't remember the details of the end of the swimming-with-the-orcas dream, but I know it involved a shark and I woke up feeling scared.

I think this represents how I feel about my past. I used to be overly nostalgic (because I would always end up moving from a bad situation to a worse situation). I would remember things as being better than they actually were. Now that my life has improved, I hate being stuck with these bad memories of my childhood, to the point where I can't understand why anybody would ever feel nostalgic anymore. Maybe this is a sign that I'm remembering things as being worse than they actually were? (I mean, I wasn't EXACTLY abused or anything...) I know these dreams have to mean SOMETHING.

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I meant I was remembering things as being better than they actually were because I would miss the last situation I was in. I would go from being extremely lonely to being extremely lonely and bullied to being extremely lonely and bullied and stressed. I would wish I could go back to a time in my life when I was JUST extremely lonely--know what I mean?

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