Wild Minds Network

Where wild minds come to rest

That is the question.

Does anyone else have the problem of not wanting to change their daydreams? I've had MDaydreaming for as long as I can remember, and these fantasies I live in are very real to me. While it does have it's downsides, I don't want to change it. I've seen some other people on the forum talking about how to stop or wanting help, but the thought of changing this is... depressing. These daydreams are part of me, and to take them away would be to kill off what makes me happy and keeps me stable.

Is anyone else like this? Not wanting to change their MDaydreaming?

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I've just got in this site so, sorry if I say or do something wrong, but I kinda feel your point. I think I can become even sadder if I stop daydreaming. But at the same time, it's so painful when I realize that most of it won't come true, that I start wondering which one is better. 

I am the same, I write stories, so I use it for that, I have done this my whole life, and am in my late 30's now, but have just discovered MDD, since learning about it, I did battle with myself a little, as a good majority of people I have read on here and other sites want rid of it completely, and I felt weird as I dont want to lose it.   I don't want to stop completely, I need it for my writing I feel, also I actually enjoy my day dreams, especially as I cant day dream when I am down or depressed, I actually day dream a lot more when I am happy, I have been working on controlling it more than stopping it, as I just don't feel like myself without it, and I have much more success with trying to control it rather than stopping it completely. I have accepted I am going to have this forever, and I am OK with that, as like I said I do enjoy it, it is just a question of controlling it more than I was, and I am actually having success with that.

When I first learned the term Maladaptive Daydreaming I was a bit excited to learn that it was a thing and that it wasn't just something I did. In fact, I was a bit put off, and maybe a little bit offended by the word "maladaptive". But as I look back I have to admit that there is truth in that. On one hand it very much helped me to adapt and cope, and on the other it did hold me back and prevent me from advancing in areas that I would have liked to have advanced more. But stop it? Oh, no. I kind of have a built in entertainment system that in many ways is a lot better than movies and tv. I am old now and after a lifetime of it I would certainly not want to be "cured" at this point. 

I think having a balance is key. There have been times where I've day dreamed and couldn't finish my shower or didn't clean my house so day dreaming when you should be doing something else is probably not a good thing. However, my boyfriend can sit and game for hours on end and I know plenty of people who will watch Netflix all day so using it as a relaxation tool or as a hobby probably isn't bad. I think it's only when the day dreams start interfering with the important things that it becomes a problem. Maybe out aside a chunk of time, set a timer, and day dream away! 

I’m new to the Wild Minds Network but seeing your post I think it’s really interesting you’ve mentioned this as this is something I agree with and I’ve been thinking about quite frequently in recent months. I currently feel like I’m a bit at a crossroads because on the one hand I do want to let go of MD and have tried many, many times over the past few years to stop but always relapse. I think the longest I went was 2 weeks but I really found it difficult and the only reason I went that long was because I was around people almost all the time so physically couldn’t. I have been giving it some thought and I think actually the reason I can’t let go and end up relapsing is because actually a part of me deep down doesn’t want to. I feel like I’m only trying to let go of MD for my partner, I know if I wasn’t with him I’d be quite happy to go on living with it. In an ideal world I wouldn’t have MD but as I’ve had it for over half my life I feel like I don’t know how to be without it. I’m aware without it I would be so bored and I don’t have any hobbies so I don’t know what I’d do. I am worried what I would be like as a person because it’s how I deal with my everyday stresses, so if I didn’t do it I know I’d be an even more stressed and anxious person and the thought of that makes me not want to stop. I think what I’ve decided, at least for the time being, is that rather than ruling it out completely and going all cold-turkey on MD I’m going to try and allocate specific time during my week to do it. That way I don’t completely have to lose it but in times outside of that I am going to aim to give my full time and attention to my daily tasks and relationships with my family, friends and partner- that they don't currently get. We'll see how it goes, I think it'll be easier for me to say than actually carry out.  

I think that is the best way to go, just take each day as it comes, I have made rules for myself  to try not to DD for at least 1 day a week, and not to DD at work or in social situations any more, which is going really well for me at the moment, as a couple of weeks ago I went 4 days without day dreaming, and this week I have managed 2 days without and only 1 hr the other two days and that was setting aside time for it - though I am struggling today but that is because I am tired today and when I am tired I  get distracted really easily, and really struggle not to day dream, but overall I have found this is working for me at the moment, and setting aside some time, for day dreaming if I am really craving it.  I think this is the best solution for both things if you are looking to stop completely or just control it like me, stopping altogether straight away just wont work, imo  I have tried that way too and it for me is a depressing vicious circle.  good luck  whether you are trying to stop altogether or just control it x

Lora said:

I’m new to the Wild Minds Network but seeing your post I think it’s really interesting you’ve mentioned this as this is something I agree with and I’ve been thinking about quite frequently in recent months. I currently feel like I’m a bit at a crossroads because on the one hand I do want to let go of MD and have tried many, many times over the past few years to stop but always relapse. I think the longest I went was 2 weeks but I really found it difficult and the only reason I went that long was because I was around people almost all the time so physically couldn’t. I have been giving it some thought and I think actually the reason I can’t let go and end up relapsing is because actually a part of me deep down doesn’t want to. I feel like I’m only trying to let go of MD for my partner, I know if I wasn’t with him I’d be quite happy to go on living with it. In an ideal world I wouldn’t have MD but as I’ve had it for over half my life I feel like I don’t know how to be without it. I’m aware without it I would be so bored and I don’t have any hobbies so I don’t know what I’d do. I am worried what I would be like as a person because it’s how I deal with my everyday stresses, so if I didn’t do it I know I’d be an even more stressed and anxious person and the thought of that makes me not want to stop. I think what I’ve decided, at least for the time being, is that rather than ruling it out completely and going all cold-turkey on MD I’m going to try and allocate specific time during my week to do it. That way I don’t completely have to lose it but in times outside of that I am going to aim to give my full time and attention to my daily tasks and relationships with my family, friends and partner- that they don't currently get. We'll see how it goes, I think it'll be easier for me to say than actually carry out.  

I find more I MD more I'm disconnected from living and the more miserable I am. When I MD less my life is going pretty well so I think that you have to get to a point where your daydreams aren't the highlight of your life anymore.

I feel that sometimes it becomes alarming and causes distress, but for the most part it is not something I ever want to let go of. it would be a great loss. I have even found a great comfort in the profound confusion of being in between... I'm not even sure if I view it as a problem at this point...or just something that goes on in the mind worth study and observation on its own

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