Sensational Foresights

[Jessica Ballantyne]

You might find this sounds sad, but I was so indulged in my MD life that I hardly got out of my shell and payed attention to live people—for 25 years. I dealt with social anxiety and depression when I was young, but eventually grew into an emotionally secure and endurable person. I believe I'm on the branch of the autism spectrum disorder, like I have asperger syndrome. So I was always frustrated and confused as to why I couldn't interact and relate to people on any given level. I've never met such a solicitous island of a person who has almost doesn't ever have friends. I've dealt with so many people who bullied and yelled at me for being so quiet and not being socially friendlier, but at the same time, I didn't feel any attraction, social connection, or intimacy towards them. We didn't think alike as people, and they were treating me like I was an idiot. They didn't like me—probably because I didn't know how to interact with them. So they found me sort of abhorred, though not everybody I met acted up like this, others were level headed and open. I guess I didn't come off as polite and normal. 

Just this holiday season, I've been speculating what kind of relationship I will have soon in the future. I have been pre-meditating what I think the story of my life will look with this person, who I haven't even met yet. Anyway, I was getting physical feelings just thinking about what could happen when I come in contact with the individual, and the likely adventures we'd be dealing with together—and I have foresight vision. So I started wetting myself all week, wondering if I'm Ok, and how much of these premonitions are true—or am I making up stories to amuse myself. Point is I was never close to people, so I never had the idea—so my thoughts were giving me pleasures, I should say. Lol. 

What I'm trying to get across is that my dreams can be mixed with my foresights, or even a majority of my dreams are telling me all the good and bad things that will happen, whether I want it or not.