Where wild minds come to rest
I used to be very active on this forum a couple of years ago, around 2015-2016 mostly. Back then I really struggled with maladaptive daydreaming, and I recognized so much of myself in this forum. I haven't visited in years, I just received a notification on a topic, and clicked again. I see the place it still active, and people are still visiting. I no longer do it because while I still daydream every now and then, I now have it under control. I thought it might be interesting to share what happened.
In short, the most important change was that I took responsibility for my life and went after what I wanted. It's not that I had achieved nothing, as I had a university degree and a decent job, a boyfriend etc. But I had to admit that I was not happy with the life I was leading. Despite nothing being "wrong" with that life, I still wasn't feeling it. This led to several years of soul-searching, and I ended up moving countries, leaving the boyfriend and changing careers.
It might sound like I'm glossing over it, but it was hard. Taking real responsibilities for my wants and likes, really exploring myself was not an easy task. As a child I had not been outright harmed but I had been neglected. It took time to realize neglect was also harm, that I was living just to please others and I needed the safety valve of MDD to still get some pleasure with a life I wanted for myself. I had literally no idea regarding what I liked and who I was, but now that I'm through the process I realize my MDD was constantly giving me hints. Things aren't perfect yet but because I now feel in the driver seat in my life I have noticed that the need for MDD is under control. I still do it a lot but I've been able to decide when I do it.
Whatever your journey, I hope that all of you reach a place where you are happy about yourself and your MDD.
I was also most active during that time period and spoke to you quite often on my old profile.
Its really wonderful that you have your daydreaming under control but better still is the fact that you looked inwards and saw that you were not happy with your situation and took the time and effort to make such big changes to your life. Its not easy facing up or coming to terms with issues from your past especially those that occurred in childhood and I hope you have found some peace when it comes to these problems.
I know I often struggle with taking responsibilities for so many aspects of my life and in taking any actions to change my situation. I fall in to slumps of depression and negative behaviours and thinking styles that just sap me of all motivation and desire to work on myself and I find it so easy to see all the problems I have rather than think of solutions in how to deal with them. I hope that I can find it in me to behave in a similar manner to you and work hard at changing my life and gaining a greater understanding of who I am as a person and what I want in my life.
I'm very happy to have seen a positive update to your story and I hope that your journey forward continues on the same path.
Take care and best wishes for the future x
I hope to reach a place that makes me happiest, but don't think so for MDD. That just messed me up.