Is it possible to fall in love with someone from your daydreams?

[Helen S]

    Hey guys! :) First of all I'm new here and I want to say I'm really happy to have found you! Secondly, I think I have fallen in love with a character from my fantasies. I can't stop thinking about him and knowing that he is not here really shatters me. I have given up on the idea of a boyfriend, because I feel no one could ever compare to him. I have read a lot of stories about maladaptive daydreaming but I haven't come accross anyone with the same problem. So, I was just wondering, have any of you ever experienced or heard about anything similar?? Thanks!

[Aquarius]

So here is my two cents on the matter:

How can you stop it- Make the MDD character says 'But I'm dont exist/ But I'm not real'

It feels awful when they dissipate and you are back in your room all by yourself,  but it works

[Jen]

I am in love with one of the people from my daydreams and fantasies. I replay different events and conversations that I have had with him over the years. He has faults and makes mistakes, but is good overall and loves me back. I have planned out our wedding and family. I prefer the fantasy to my real life which is bleak and painful.

[Roel]

Sounds like a good idea too. :) Worth a try if you're sick of imaginary lovers.

Aquarius said:

So here is my two cents on the matter:

How can you stop it- Make the MDD character says 'But I'm dont exist/ But I'm not real'

It feels awful when they dissipate and you are back in your room all by yourself,  but it works

[Chen Zhen]

I have tried this but it makes me feel even more depressed. As I said before, its almost as if I don't want to be cured. I wouldn't tell this to my characters because they are my support structure for when real life becomes stressful.

[debbie downer]

absolutely, and i could totally see someone with MD rejecting potential relationships and never seeking out anyone in real life because they feel such an attachment to a certain character. i do have a strong love for my main/favorite male character, but my MD isn't as severe as it is for some people, so i'm able to come to terms with the fact that he's not real and that i need to find a real person to love who can love me back. i also think it helps that his love interest in the story is not me and is only (extremely) loosely based on myself. he belongs with her, not with me. :)

[lemonhaze]

I can understand this.  I think we all have an idealised fantasy of our perfect other half...with MDD you can fantasize about this idealised construct obsessively, whereas other people are more inclined to project it onto someone else and call it love.

[OhMyMagenta]

My daydreams center around having a primary romantic relationship that I am most certainly in love with. Depending on the character, those feelings of affection can range from mild infatuation to full on deep love. My issues with trust coupled with feelings of inadequacy make intimate relationships IRL too much work. My DD love interest gets me on so many levels, is protective of me, loyal, kind, and genuinely loves me for me. I guess my daydreams could be seen as an avoidance tactic used to not have to engage IRL dating. Truth is, I've DD while I'm in relationships too. I feel more connected and more loved by my characters than any of my real partners. For me, dating right now is almost not even worth it with all the stupidity you need to weed out. My work is very consuming and sometimes DDing is better than risking making myself vulnerable. I get the emotional connectedness and feel desired for a little while by my DD characters w/o the fuss or muss.

[Valeria]

My daydreams are about finding love, having a relationship and making a family, well, I'm homosexual It must be because of that. I haven't told anyone and I'm scared to hell of what people think mostly my mum, who is all I have and she doesn't have a good opinion about that, once, when I was a kid she told me “those people are monsters” so imagine It's very hard to me. Also, It's because I don't trust anyone and since my parents got divorced I have the feeling that someone real will cheat on me. Also is really hard to me to find someone being gay, because as I said before I haven't told anyone about my sexual orientation. For me It's better to daydream, to create someone who loves me no matter what. I wanted to stop twice, but I felt so lonely and extremely sad.

[Julie]

I can definitely empathise with you. I've had an imaginary boyfriend since I was 12 (I'm 26 now). He's the same character, albeit he's gone through some developments over the years, but the essence is the same. I used to feel shattered at the thought that he didn't actually exist and I'd never meet someone like him, and sometimes I still do. I've been in a relationship for 4 years now, my bf knows about my fantasies and this helps, even though I still end up making comparisons and feeling bad for it. I've resigned to the idea that no one will ever come close to my imaginary bf, so now I'm just happy writing songs about him, and recently, I've been writing this book, which I'm about to finish. While I was writing the first kiss scene, I found that I was getting butterflies in my stomach, and again, later on when I re-read it. I hadn't felt that in years. It's an incredibly sad feeling when you realise you get butterflies thinking of an imaginary character rather than with your real SO. 

Here's a song I wrote inspired by this struggle, it's called 'If Only You Were Real': https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bKC5OYK2wHs

At least there's a good side of all this. It helps with inspiration.

[Rose]

I'm a girl and I don't like having a girl as my DD main character because it might as well be me and feel sorta depressing

Yes! I thought I was the only one who did this. Although there is some sexual abuse undercurrent to me not wanting to be a female in my DD.

[BlackUnicorn]

Another one here! :) I'm capable of establishing complete relationships lasting for years in my dreams since I was 11. There was an imaginary bf I invented 10 years ago (bit complicated right now tough...). I had a relationship and it worked well for years.
So yes falling in love with them is probably not thaat common but it happens to some MDers. I sometimes also start over plots about how we met again and again with different changes according to new inspirations I come across.
And it's still possible to fall in love and establish a relationship. My DD-bf can be beaten by real guys, but in my case I'm now not sure anymore if that's a good thing haha :) cause from retrospective, I see the advantages of having an unreal boyfriend for me.
I also though no real one would ever be more perfect. But I now know I can fall in love in reality, guys with a similar personality I search for in my DDs obviously. With the ugly side effect that I start to daydream about my real life crushs! Making up plots how we will get together and making the guy perfect! Even if that guy is not interested it can take me years to get him out of my head again. It's the most painful thing MD brings me to do.
So it's probably harder to establish a relationship cause of the compairing and our weird habits but in advantage a unreal bf can be a protection from such experiences. At least for me, the alternative seems to have a real crush on my mind and those don't behave the way you want them too :D

[SwanInTheWater]

That happened to me some five years ago, it lasted about three years. I felt all the euphoria and I think my brain went through all those same chemical reactions that happen when falling in love. I felt all the bonding and everything. I even started dreaming about him though the face was vague and blurry and would change, but wow I was in such bliss before the crash.
I have not been in a relationship all that time during and since.