Intrusion of daydreaming into reality

[Magenta]

Hello all! First off, I have to say that finding this website has been an incredible experience for me.  Reading these forum entries makes me feel not so alone, so thank you!

 

Has anyone ever experienced a sudden intrusion of daydreaming content into their real life?  I'll provide my embarassing real-life experience as an example.  I had just started dating a new guy when this incident occurred.  He had many of the qualities I was looking for in a boyfriend, my friends thought we were a great match, and most importantly, he really, really liked me.  One night I invited him over to my apartment to watch a movie.  We started to fool around, and right in the middle of things I suddenly had a startling realization: this man was not, nor would he ever be the man from my daydreams.  I was not daydreaming at the time, and I hadn't even daydreamed at all that day.  The realization was jarring to say the least and a profound sadness swept over me.  It felt like I'd had the wind knocked out of me!  I began to cry and couldn't stop myself.  My boyfriend honestly thought they were tears of happiness, if you can you believe that.  Rest assured, he came to this conclusion on his own with no influence from me.  After an awkward moment that seemed to last an eternity, I asked him to leave saying I had to get up in the morning and he respectfully did so.  After he left, I cried uncontrollably for a good ten minutes.  This instance happened over two years ago and it still has a profound impact on me.  I have dated since that time, and this type of intrusion has not occurred again.        

[Will]

hmm... Interesting. I think it would help if you shared a little more about who the guy in your daydreams is.

Also when this happened, were you upset with yourself and how you could not be the person in your daydreams, or just the guy with respect to the guy in your daydreams?

Regarding relationships... the only advice I can give is you have to go with how you feel. Daydreaming or not... if you find someone who makes you feel truly good and loved... and you feel so close to that person that you trust them enough to be able to talk to them about anything.... then I believe you have found someone special, and I would only hope that the "realness" of those feelings would would dominate your life and not anything else including daydreaming... It's not to say that your daydreaming would go away... but perhaps you may find that person you love is now becoming a part of your daydreams. What I just described has actually happened to me... I would also advise anyone not to see daydreaming as something has to be kept secret. I was a tremendous relief when I talked to my girlfriend about daydreaming...

[Lisa Wiggins]

I've had the same problems. Especially when it comes to dating. I always think 'this guy isn't as cool as..." this person will never appreciate me like so and so. I haven't been in a relationship for forever because of this. I find the world to be very gray and boring compared to what happens in my head. And because of this I have fits where I just cry because I'm so sad I'll never be in one of my fantasy worlds. And it hurts so very much.

So you're not alone doll.