Intro

[JamesRelton]

Hi all

My name is James,47 years old , completely useless at technology but glad the younger guys have found this place to be . Where to begin ?, short version , traumatic childhood, some abuse, quickly convinced around 11 years old I was no good and pretty worthless 

So I did what we here do , escape, into myself, my bedroom,my thoughts, one way ticket to St Elsewhere 

Found a new toy , seemed I had enormous power, fearful of the real world, it just hurt me,

Elaborate scenarios that I could control, films , books , Tv fed this new monster voraciously, couldn’t do any of them without starting 

Classic issues, faraway look , clicking to timed Dds , blinking, angry if disturbed, time set aside , highly planned, socially uncomfortable , sooooo would have advised against this if I had known then what I know now 

Brought nothing but misery as only emotions really were in Dds , recent total heath related breakdown , total cataclysmic implosion due to health related fear

Working , but just barely holding it together as v busy work for NHS at this time 

Cant access Dds , so truly nothing in my head but pain really 

tired now , grateful to all , but late here as glad this exists as nothing ‘back in the day’ like here

 Regards to all 

J

[Pause, Replay]

Hi, sometimes it just helps knowing you're not the only one.  Possibly a lot of the members are not UK based because I'm here at nearly 5pm and there's only two of us online!  It's new to me too, just joined.  Not had your courage to do an introduction though. Take care.

[Valeria Franco]

Dear James,

you wrote your story quickly, it sounds to me something like "More or less the same old story for any of us, nothing new, but I'm telling you".

Exactly what I would expect from a person who was "quickly convinced around 11 years old I was no good and pretty worthless". 

But even if we are all so alike, all experiencing the same symptoms, many with a traumatic past... we are all single persons, special, unique.

A traumatic childhood is nothing to be superficial about; you don't have to tell about it, of course, but your suffering needs respect. You can take all the space you want and you need here to talk and write about whatever you want.

I'm telling you this because I've seen many people that feel worthless trying to take up little space, as little as possible.

You are tired, the psychological pain is tiring.

I hope this virtual home can help you rest a little bit.

It's in our motto: where wild minds come to rest.

Welcome.