Wild Minds Network

Where wild minds come to rest

Hi, I am a new member, I have had maladaptive daydreaming since i was 4 years old. 

I am trying everyday to overcome it, But it is so hard. I can go 1 day without daydreaming than the next day i am doing it again, I didn't finish my school, I don't have a degree, I can't do anything because of it. And i don't enjoy it at all. I hate it so much, I can't focus, I am very quiet. And people often find it strange that i don't talk,But the reason i dont talk is because of my maladaptive daydreaming. I have never told anyone about this, Because i am afraid that they will laugh at me. I just don't understand why i can't stop. And i have wasted many years of my life just daydreaming. While my friends are achieving great things in their life. I used to daydream so deep that i could not see the diffrence between my daydreams and reality.

Even though it is making me suffer so much, I still can't stop. I will promise myself i will never do it again. And before i know it i am daydreaming again. I cry everyday because of this. I have tried over and over again to stop, But i never succeed. And i am so tired of trying. I thought i was the only one doing this. I am glad that i can tell my story here.

I get laughed at because i can't do nothing right. And i am Always the dumb one.

Everywhere i go i Always get the same question: Why are you Always so quiet? Don't you talk?

I know that the reason i am like that is because of this illnes. 

I want to get better, And be normal, But i don't know how, And i am so tired.

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Do you suffer from anxiety or depression?

If the answer is yes. forget about stoping daydreaming and try to solve the anxiety and the depression issue then the Daydreaming will be less and less without even trying to stop it.

Anxiety and depression is like the fuel for Daydreaming. Get rid of the fuel.

That what helped me.

Thank you for your reply, Yes, I have depression and social anxiety, Because i was bullied alot at school. I went to therapy, I went to 4 counsellors, But unfortunatly  it did not help me. 

rose said:

Do you suffer from anxiety or depression?

If the answer is yes. forget about stoping daydreaming and try to solve the anxiety and the depression issue then the Daydreaming will be less and less without even trying to stop it.

Anxiety and depression is like the fuel for Daydreaming. Get rid of the fuel.

That what helped me.

It seems that you have just realized that your MD is not entirely unique to yourself, but also to us. I guess it makes you relieve a bit to find this and you want to get things solved as soon as possible. However, problems don't pile up in a single day, so it maybe better not to force yourself to stop MD, stop this or that immediately.

Instead, it may be better to clarify yourself of your mental/current situation:

1.What your MD truly affects you? Think carefully about this, because is easy to confuse cause and effect. For a person who isn't sociable, it is likely for them to use MD to escape from a topic that he/she isn't interested in;and this is social anxiety causing an arouse on MD, which is the exact opposite of MD causing them not being focus on others' discussions. This is one of the question you need to ask yourself in the process of this clarification and for your case, there seems to be quite a number of problems. Distinguish them as either minor/major ones would definitely help, because it is always better, to deal with one problem first and then move on to another, otherwise it would be really tiring.

2.Figure out some support, real life support. No one wants to deal with problems on their own, and no one can deal with it either. Now before you say that "No one wants to/can support me etc,etc,", remember your past experience may not represent everything, and from what you have typed, I guess you are probably still in confusion about your own situation. I may also guess, the instant you find out this site and maladaptive daydreaming, you are like the person who finds a rope in the dark sea and grab it as tight as you can. If both of these are true, it may indicate that you were unable to disclose your entire situation to your counsellors, which maybe why they can't help you much, at least that was my case when I visited my counsellors before.

And my whole idea is to suggest you combining part 1 and 2 into play. My english is quite bad because I ain't native speaker, and I can definitely guess everything wrong, so I would stop here. It's best that you might like to ask more in this forum though, the OP obviously represent only a part of your issue, and I am sure there are more forumers out there who would like to go into detail with your case to help.

Do you exercise?
My friend says crossfit helps and ball room dance cause you have to refocus.
Meditation and yoga too.

I tell him all the time i would like to help but he is very guarded.

Hi, Thank you for your reply, I have had it my whole life, And i didn't know what it was, I thought i was the only one. I am very relieved that i know now what it is, So i can get help for it. I told my counsellor what i have, And they didn't understand it, They always ask me, About what do you daydream? They didn't understand that it was diffrent than normal daydreaming. They thought i was just thinking to much. I think the reason for me is that i have this, Is because i was bullied allot at school, And many people have hurt me, And i am to shy to stick up for myself. And i still have that anger. I daydream about that i get back at them. When i am hurt or angry it only gets worse. But in real life i am to scared and shy. I feel like when i daydream i have no power over myself, My brain has his own will, And sometimes i do it when i don't even realize it. I have to fight to not daydream. I am to scared to tell my doctor, Because i am afraid that he will think i am weird or crazy, I really want support to overcome this, But i am always afraid about what they will think of me. That's why i came to this forum,

I hope i can find support and help here. 


Fishno7 said:

It seems that you have just realized that your MD is not entirely unique to yourself, but also to us. I guess it makes you relieve a bit to find this and you want to get things solved as soon as possible. However, problems don't pile up in a single day, so it maybe better not to force yourself to stop MD, stop this or that immediately.

Instead, it may be better to clarify yourself of your mental/current situation:

1.What your MD truly affects you? Think carefully about this, because is easy to confuse cause and effect. For a person who isn't sociable, it is likely for them to use MD to escape from a topic that he/she isn't interested in;and this is social anxiety causing an arouse on MD, which is the exact opposite of MD causing them not being focus on others' discussions. This is one of the question you need to ask yourself in the process of this clarification and for your case, there seems to be quite a number of problems. Distinguish them as either minor/major ones would definitely help, because it is always better, to deal with one problem first and then move on to another, otherwise it would be really tiring.

2.Figure out some support, real life support. No one wants to deal with problems on their own, and no one can deal with it either. Now before you say that "No one wants to/can support me etc,etc,", remember your past experience may not represent everything, and from what you have typed, I guess you are probably still in confusion about your own situation. I may also guess, the instant you find out this site and maladaptive daydreaming, you are like the person who finds a rope in the dark sea and grab it as tight as you can. If both of these are true, it may indicate that you were unable to disclose your entire situation to your counsellors, which maybe why they can't help you much, at least that was my case when I visited my counsellors before.

And my whole idea is to suggest you combining part 1 and 2 into play. My english is quite bad because I ain't native speaker, and I can definitely guess everything wrong, so I would stop here. It's best that you might like to ask more in this forum though, the OP obviously represent only a part of your issue, and I am sure there are more forumers out there who would like to go into detail with your case to help.

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