I feel sad...disappointed.

[Jessica Ballantyne]

I feel sad...disappointed.

I realized if I was down-to-earth, grounded and mature—I would've had a very good life by now. But no, I just wanted to go around and daydream. It got me nowhere...and to this day I haven't accomplished anything at 40. I was never a competent and world-smart person. I studied the arts when I was young, and hoped to be a professional painter, but my dad had doubts, and felt I needed to get real, and go into a career that opens many doors. I had terrible commination skills and wasn't raised to be independent, and overtime, I kind of got airy-fairy-wishy-washy, instead of disciplining myself. I believed things can come to you, when really, everybody knows you make it happen yourself. But over time, I simply didn't know how to take care of myself and my problems. Growing up discouraged me and I didn't get ahead in life—I just fell behind. My Dad did tell me "nobody cares about you and your satisfaction," and he's got a point. 

Getting down the point. Daydreaming just doesn't help you in the long run. I couldn't learned my lesson sooner and did something about my regrettable situation, but there was another obstacle. My mom had strong doubts towards my mental health and though I just could not work..cause you need an attention span and good communication skills. She told me I should stick to ART. Whenever a door opens, she reminds me why she think it won't work out. It's been a 16 year old burden between us—and it's getting old and dusty. For an adult whose always wanted to go out into the world independently—it's stressful and daunting, when you're just not trusted. I never wanted this to be my real future. But you want to daydream your life away, that's what happens. 

[Mina]

it's never too late to start over i get this feeling but this mindset is the very mindset the keep holding me back 

it's alays regret,shame,depression and the cycle repeat 

i keep telling myself you can't fix the past but what can you do now .. as long i breath sure i can do something but my perfections tell me it all wasted but that's not true yes there time lost but i still have time to do something