My mom is in complete and utter denial about me possibly having MDD.

Every time I bring it up, she says one of these things:

"If you keep reading up on these medical disorders, your brain will subconsciously doing those things." Well, mom, I noticed that I was the ONLY one of my friends that was obsessed with an imaginary world inside my head, so I looked into it. Can't blame me for wanting to know what the freak was going on with me. AND: I've been daydreaming since I was a little kid.

"We can move." This is because I've only started pacing after we moved to Virginia. I used to run, and was getting into the habit of pacing, in North Carolina; the last place we lived in. I daydreamed while I ran; I daydream while I pace. Same thing to me, though I'd rather run.

"Ah, me and my kids with mental problems. You do that to yourself." This is because my brother is Bi-polar and he has OCD, and now I'm complaining about MDD. Don't see how I do that to myself.

"That's because you sit around the house all day and pace." No, I sit around the house and pace BECAUSE of MDD. I don't see how walking around in a boring store (which is like pacing to me) is going to help me when I daydream there too.

(After I told her about my attachment to my characters.) "That sounds a little psychotic."

"You didn't pace as a kid." No, but that's because I wasn't obsessed with it until 3-4 years ago. I used to just daydream when we were in the car. Then I started running, now pacing. I remember when I was a kid, I wanted my friends to act out my daydreams with me. Needless to say, they got tired of it and stopped hanging out with me. Then they grew out of their fantasies when I hadn't. So I paced/ran instead of acting it out.

 

So yeah. I have no clue what to do about this. We seem to argue about it everyday, but she's still not convinced. I want help, but with a mom like her I'll never get it.

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Like I mentioned to you in chat my mum was the same when I tried to speak to her when I was a young teenager. I never mentioned MD because at that point I wasn't aware of MD and I didn't really see my daydreaming as being a problem back then. 

I started hearing voices when I was about 12 and with that came a lot of depression and fear. I kept my voice hearing a secret for 2 years because I was too scared to talk about it. One day when my mum picked me up from school I felt like I couldn't hold back any longer and instead of easing her into it I just said "I think I could be schizophrenic." I expected her to tell me to stop being silly but she got quite angry at me and when I said I didn't wanna talk about it she kept saying I can't say something like that and then drop it.
When we got home she didn't calm down. She started yelling at me, telling me that I'd been reading about schizophrenia on the internet and I'd convinced myself I had it, much like what your mum is saying about you reading up on MD. We dropped the conversation after that and things went back to normal. She noticed I was depressed but being about 14 at this point I think she put it down to hormones. Things got worse though. My voice was telling me to do things that would hurt other people. I began to fall ill from the stress and so my mum took me to see my doctor where I confessed about my voice hearing. At that point my mum could no longer deny I had problems because a doctor confirmed that I did (although I was not schizophrenic).

Even now as an adult my mum still struggles to understand or believe me but I know this is because she doesn't want to admit that I am troubled. The only way my mum listened was, unfortunately, after my mental state had declined. I'm not really sure what to tell you. I wouldn't push your mum too much with it. I think perhaps it could be quite overwhelming for her. Maybe for now stop talking about it and let it sink in a bit. If she continues to not acknowledge it you can always ask her to look at this website. If you were comfortable with it she could maybe sign up and talk to some of us. 

I wish I had a better answer for you. 

This is why I do not tell my dad about MD. He is one of those ppl who just thinks its a phase or some thought that crossed my mind. When I told him about my depression a couple of years ago, he thought it was just a phase....like really? 

Huh!!!!! Sometimes I feel like knocking some sense into them! Only time may open their mind Haleigh, until then keep your head up, some ppl just understand until they have been there. 

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