Emotional overload through MD - can anyone relate?

[Sandra]

So I am new to this page and I am grateful I finally signed up^^ I know that I have MD for quite a while and I never felt "terribly" affected by it (it's a part of my depressive episodes).
That means - yes I spend a lot of time daydreaming, but I am still -functioning- in real life.
I tend to daydream about attractive men I see mainly on tv and it's always similar: romantic relationships.
When I start such a "new" fantasy relationship it usually happens that I don't feel the need to "get too close" to my husband, but it usually normalize after a couple of days/weeks.

However, the recent guy who struck me gave me a complete emotional overload! Haven't felt so intense for ages. He ist just a not very famous actor I saw on television and funny enough, I would not even consider him very attractive.... But sth about him is.... different? And it consumed me so much that I felt slipping right into my next depressive episode... Questioning my whole life I created so far!

Can anyone relate?? This simple thought makes me so scared! It's like I would give up my marriage and kids - but at the same time I am "smart enough" to know it's not gonna be alright.
The guy can never be the way I see him - and francly speaking, I think I have the best husband in the world....

So even from a rational point it all makes no sense at all. But I am really struggeling to get sh** together. I even started to find a new therapist because I realised that is so different from my daydreams before and I am afraid I can't deal with it alone...

Sorry for such a long text. I guess I just need input somehow^^

[Valeria Franco]

Dear Sandra, 

emotions like this come to tell you "you are alive!".

Sometimes, we have to face the dilemma: shall I choose the rational way, the comfortable love? Or shall I follow my emotion and live intensely because we've got just one life?

I have come to believe that MD rises by the lack of emotions, and it is a way our hungry mind uses to get them, artificially. 

But we would rather have them in real life. 

So, what happened to you is dramatic, somehow you were not expecting a crush like that. 

He is special, he touches something inside you that was already there. Your husband is great, and you have family, but you also want that emotion. 

It doesn't mean you have to leave your husband, but in my experience, if your fantasies were of the romantic kind, you can't just ignore that you are hungry for passion.

Maybe you want to involve your husband in this need. Maybe you just need to explore that feeling without guilt.

That piece of you want to be listened to, or it will stick you on daydreaming forever.