Wild Minds network
Maladaptive Daydreaming: where wild minds come to rest
Do Not Do This
You guys, PLEASE DO NOT DAYDREAM if you achingly want a much better life. I've been an MD'er for 20 years, and I just quit. We'll it's really hard, but I'll never be the same person again. I went on a trip with my dad, and he noticed that I wasn't listening to him, while I stared into distant space at the bay.
So when we sat down to dinner, he told me I can daydream all I want, but love, success and friends don't come out of daydreams. You actually have to earn it. I was so blown away and appalled, but I also felt so bad. He told me that my actions make absolutely no sense. Going deep into thought, talking to yourself, laughing for nothing, being somewhere else...it needs to stop. Apparently, it gets you nowhere.
MD has caused me to be very quiet. When I was doing MD, I didn't seem to notice or care how another person feels being around me. They're going to think I don't like them and I'm not interested in their conversation, so they'll just get mad and give up. Apparently you have to earn your own happiness and everybody's respect. Nothing in life is given to you in pretty wrapped gift box.
So I'm totally stunned right now. I've always wanted to date someone and get married. And I blew myself in the foot by not taking 'real life' steps, due to being distracted by my dreams.
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Aquafirewolf on
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Hello Jessica,
wow. You are right. I have been day dreaming half my life. How did you stop?
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Permalink Reply by Jessica Ballantyne on
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I got out of my head, pretty much. I literally quit daydreaming cold turkey after my dad gave me this psychiatry. It just changed my belief system. There's no way you'll get ahead in real life, unless you quit dreaming. I have people constantly notice that I drift and don't listen. Then they get upset or frustrated. If you don't communicate and your deep in a daydream, relationships will not work. People will just see your not with them, get frustrated, give up...leave. Or else, they'll snap.
As for career success, even school, it's the same thing. You won't get up the latter unless you stop it. You might just end up in big trouble. When I was a kid, I didn't know any better. I had a soft life and took my daydreaming for granted, never thinking of my future. My mom had no idea the whole time! I didn't express my daydreams to her and she finally noticed in my adulthood that I didn't communicate or I was very careless in my actions. She didn't take it well, she was really vexed. My dad was more open and accepting because he caught me doing it since I was a baby.
Daydreaming actually effected my future and my mom thinks I won't achieve anything, all except for art. It impacted my social life as well. Many people have found me too quiet for them and that I tended to think a lot. These days, even though I have quit, I still catch that "I talk to myself." I could be socializing right now to make a difference, but COVID is making it extremely difficult.
Yes and adaptation. If you daydreamed half your life, you may have difficulties adapting to your earthly environment in comparison to those who never did it. It depends on how good and sociable you are.
I don't know how old you are. Please quit. It will save your future.
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Hello Jessica,
I am 25 years old and I am motivated to stop. I got my masters in June and looking for a job. I do not want to do this anymore. I noticed I have been kind of slow in learning. When I used to read my textbooks I would be very slow at learning it. I have not daydreamed in 2 days but today I fell backward. I want to stop and came back to this website and saw your post. I am even more motivated. Thank you for your post. I hope to stop and I will stop. I fell today but not tomorrow!
Jessica Ballantyne said:I got out of my head, pretty much. I literally quit daydreaming cold turkey after my dad gave me this psychiatry. It just changed my belief system. There's no way you'll get ahead in real life, unless you quit dreaming. I have people constantly notice that I drift and don't listen. Then they get upset or frustrated. If you don't communicate and your deep in a daydream, relationships will not work. People will just see your not with them, get frustrated, give up...leave. Or else, they'll snap.
As for career success, even school, it's the same thing. You won't get up the latter unless you stop it. You might just end up in big trouble. When I was a kid, I didn't know any better. I had a soft life and took my daydreaming for granted, never thinking of my future. My mom had no idea the whole time! I didn't express my daydreams to her and she finally noticed in my adulthood that I didn't communicate or I was very careless in my actions. She didn't take it well, she was really vexed. My dad was more open and accepting because he caught me doing it since I was a baby.
Daydreaming actually effected my future and my mom thinks I won't achieve anything, all except for art. It impacted my social life as well. Many people have found me too quiet for them and that I tended to think a lot. These days, even though I have quit, I still catch that "I talk to myself." I could be socializing right now to make a difference, but COVID is making it extremely difficult.
Yes and adaptation. If you daydreamed half your life, you may have difficulties adapting to your earthly environment in comparison to those who never did it. It depends on how good and sociable you are.
I don't know how old you are. Please quit. It will save your future.
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When my MD first started, I was just a kid, so I didn't think it was going to do any damage. I didn't think many were going to notice, but I was wrong. I scared the living shit out of a few people.
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I thought I had control of my MD. I would do my homework then go straight and MD for hours in my room. I know its bad now. Thank you for your post. I have not MD in 3 days. Its really hard. I did not realize how much time I have on my hands. When I lay in bed before I go to bed I want 2 MD so bad but I just repeat NO in my head till I fall asleep. My memory is really really bad. It's hard for me to memorize things. I have not told my therapist however, I am trying to work on being better at memorizing things. Its really hard. I read one of my old textbooks and I could not remember what I read MD really has messed me up. I am trying to get better but again thank you for your post. After I read your story it has inspired me to stop. Its not fun anymore its damaging mentally. I went to the store and for once it felt strange. People said hello and I just froze. It felt so strange to notice things around me. While in the past when I MD I would zone out laugh to myself and smile randomly while shopping. Now it feels odd shopping. To actually focus is another struggle I have..But I will get better. With therapy I will get better. I will never tell my therapist I have MD. I think it is embarrassing talking about my MD.
Jessica Ballantyne said:When my MD first started, I was just a kid, so I didn't think it was going to do any damage. I didn't think many were going to notice, but I was wrong. I scared the living shit out of a few people.
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I grew up in a town for many years. All I can remember is being somewhere else too often. People have noticed and haven't taken it so well. I've literally had people come up to me and ask "where'd you go?" or "are you here?" Yes, it was that bad. Even my friends and family had a big problem with it. MD acted like a filter, and I would see things in a different way, even if it meant the forest and field behind my house would make me think of certain things. Then when my MD came to a stop, I lost that scope of imagination, so I suddenly dislike the very appearance of everything that used to inspire me. Same with shopping. Yeah, I used to be out of it and didn't care about my surrounding environment.
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I am happy you stopped. I have stopped since we last talked. I wanted to go back to MD today but came and read your post just now. Its a struggle..a large struggle..i miss my world so much but I told myself No. Man this is hard..I wanna go back but..I know it's bad..Nope not gonna give up. Thank you again for your post because I re-read our conversation and I am motivated to not go back. Thank you again.
Jessica Ballantyne said:I grew up in a town for many years. All I can remember is being somewhere else too often. People have noticed and haven't taken it so well. I've literally had people come up to me and ask "where'd you go?" or "are you here?" Yes, it was that bad. Even my friends and family had a big problem with it. MD acted like a filter, and I would see things in a different way, even if it meant the forest and field behind my house would make me think of certain things. Then when my MD came to a stop, I lost that scope of imagination, so I suddenly dislike the very appearance of everything that used to inspire me. Same with shopping. Yeah, I used to be out of it and didn't care about my surrounding environment.
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