Daydreaming about the guy you like

[Luna]

First of all excuse my English, it's not so great...

I wanted to share my experience as I don't know if anyone else feels the same.

I mainly daydream about a guy I like but I am not in a relationship with. In the DD he usually tells me I am beautiful and quirky and intelligent and we are together and it's romantic etc. There are also some friends of mine usually (some of them I haven't seen in a while), who of course make me feel special.

I tend to obsess over this person, even if I am not completely sure I like them in real life. Of course there is a spark but often I just borrow them as a character for my perfect imaginary world... 

This creates problems in my real life as sometimes I am not able to tell if I am really into the guy or he is just the obsession du jour... At least at the beginning.

I am 40 and have been suffering from DD since I can remember. When I was a teenager I used to daydream about film stars, when I was a child about cartoons ;-) or imaginary friends. My triggers are music, loneliness, boredom, difficult situations.

I have a very low self esteem (hence the people in my dreams telling me I'm good), social anxiety, socially awkward, very shy and introverted, but I have a degree, a decent job (which I'm not very good at though) and a lot of hobbies... I have suffered from depression a bit but it's better now, just some agoraphobia which is almost gone, some body dysmorphia which is almost over as well. I get a bit too aggressive sometimes and throw tantrums (esp. if someone makes me feel inferior or I am driving in the city, or someone stares at me too much on the subway oops), but it's been getting a lot better.

I get bored really easily and I tend to really focus on one hobby at a time in a very passionate/a bit obsessive way for a while. 

My mother is psychotic (thankfully the medication she has been taking has been working well in the last year) with paranoid tendencies, a long history of alcohol and prescription drugs abuse (she attempted suicide a couple of times). My father is a retired businessman, very clever but very demanding, nothing was ever good enough for him and my aloofness always annoyed him, I guess he never really accepted me (even though I know he really loves me and is a very nice person) even though I was ok in school.

My relationships with men have suffered, because of my shyness and my obsessive tendencies. I have never been in a relationship with someone I was really in love with. I had three longish relationships (1 year, 2 and 3 years) mostly because I felt lonely.

I am trying to fight this though, and this website is helpful, it makes me feel connected. I have been really trying to reduce the DD, trying to meditate and tell myself compliments ;-), my social life has been getting a lot better too (made new friends this year).

I never thought I could fight this but I am more motivated now, I want to increase my self esteem and try not to be alone too much and do interesting things, as these are my main triggers.

[nicole]

I daydream about the guy I like too! I have been thinking about him for at least the last 13 years I haven't even seen him in years sometimes I look him up on the Internet

[Luna]

Feeling like a freak today. I don't know if I like the guy (saw him again today), I'm so lost in my dreams that I I don't know if I can trust my mind anymore. I feel worthless. Sorry... Maybe it will get worse before it gets better...

[Luna]

Going on the date with the guy soon... In real life. And my daydreaming has been getting a little better since I started meditating a bit almost every day (focussing only on my breath for 5 minutes).

[Heaven]

As far back as I can remember all of my daydreams have been about the guy I like or some type of romance. My self esteem has never been that great. In fact I've been saying since the 2nd grade that I was never going to get married because I did not believe it was physically possible for someone to fall in love with me and I'm pretty sure that's the year my MDD started. I wonder if those thoughts have anything to do with it.

[True Blue Dreamer]

When I was a preteen, i fantasized abiut pop singers and actors. I still struggle with that

[Tinkerbell]

I am in a relationship but I still day dream about my crushes. They can be movie stars, singers e.t.c The problem with day dreaming about people in close proximity to you ( Neighbours/ colleagues) is I find that because you don't know them, you make up this complete character of them which may not be true. And congratulations on your date!