Maladaptive Daydreaming: where wild minds come to rest
This is something that has been bothering me for a while -- One of the many negative aspects associated with MD. At least for me.
I daydream pretty much 24/7. I'm very efficient at operating in daily task while daydreaming. Even during light conversation I've always felt like I'm in two places at once. I am unable to leave my daydreams in my mind however. My characters are honestly more like imaginary friends in the fact that I truly feel their presence in the real world.
It's a particularly large issue for me because it affects my thoughts, actions, and conversation. I refrain from certain thoughts because they can hear my thoughts and judge me. I'm also highly susceptible to discussing politics, theory's, and just acting in a different manor in ways that I don't agree with because of the same issue of that they are always present. I've said a lot of things that I don't mean and I kind of have to "just go with it". It basically induces a compulsive lying disorder in me. I have a different persona for every social circle I belong to and it really kind of sucks. I never have a chance to just be Mill :(
I understand where you're coming from. I did this a lot as a kid. I was convinced the characters were really there in some form. It definitely changed how I behaved and would act differently in front of different characters.
I normally put this down to other mental health issues I have but they all seem to mix with MD so it's hard to tell. It can be very annoying and worst of all it does prevent my progress in the real world to some extent.
No, I can't feel my characters' presence; my daydreams are all in my head.
I don't "feel" them, but sometimes almost expect them to be there. Like I walk around a corner and turn my head like I think I'm going to see one there. Like they should be there. Then I shake my head and go on, telling myself it's impossible.
Oh my god, I feel the exact same when you said that you refrain from certain thoughts because they hear your thoughts and that MD affects your thoughts. My daydream characters hear every thought I think, every reaction to everything I have, they see everything I feel, every move I make. Not gonna lie, it sucks sometimes. Sure you know that. It's like I have a constant audience of everything inside my head. I also sometimes lie or say things I don't mean because my daydream characters are there, listening. Also, I sometimes feel like my own thoughts are staged or fake because I think only what I'm okay with my characters hearing.
I think the lines between reality and fantasy are becoming blurred for you. In my humble opinion, that's not healthy at all.
I can hear them respond to conversations that I'm having in real life. I'll even laugh about it and tell my friends (who know about my daydreams) what they "said". As far as them judging me is concerned, I'm essentially the only omnipotent being in my DD universe, and they all know that I could make their lives horrifically painful with a single thought. So, essentially, I intimidate them into submission before cheerily skipping away. xD
I do this sometimes, lol. It's so annoying!! I just slap myself gently and tell myself to snap out of it :) It usually works pretty well.