anxiety of MD

[natgee]

Hey guys so i am new here and this is my first post  . i  have had  MD at control for almost  a year now . but now i am feeling shame and guilt about i will remember every second of it. how wasted i time on something like this. the time spent in loneliness. now that i recall it was a pretty sh*tty time i have been having anxiety for the entire day today that whether not will i start daydreaming for hours again . i current daydream for 15- 30 mins but today i did it for an hour. actually my story is pretty weird i got obsessed with a wattpad romance book and all my daydreams are based on them . i was so anxious so i went to wattpad and started reading it the author has kept 5 sample chapters not the entire book . it didnt cause me too daydream for hours end but i felt so anxious  .every scene from the book would randomly pop in my head and i would feel terrified.  does anyone face anxiety that if they lose MD what would happen?

[Kalliope]

Hello natgee. Welcome to the forum! Congratulations on controlling MD for almost a year. How did you control it? How did you cope with your anxiety of daydreaming again? It's interesting to see a different kind of attachment to MD - less of wanting/needing to MD, more obsession and anxiety - why did you start doing MD? why did you stop?

To answer your question, as I'm posting a lot of questions myself : ), some anxiety was there: what if I lose a part of me if I give up MD? it was a difficult blockade to stopping MD, and needed several answers.

First answer: Eretaia says, no, we do not lose MD, not lose a part of us, because MD only envelops our buried emotions with its differently-patterned content. We actually reclaim that part of us which we lost initially! I recommend you read her forum posts.

The second answer was a bit harsher, as I considered that MD only hides our feelings for us, I realized that I never actually spent any nighttime dreaming about the content of MD. So whilst MD hides deep feelings, it itself is hollow, and actually not as profound as we regard it to be. Trying to write down the story content of MD showed me that it is actually very simplistic and not a good story at all.

And the third answer, which I needed still even though I had gotten my answers up above, was: In the end, would it make any big difference if MD was gone for, say, a week? a month? a year? In the grand scheme of things, that's such a short time. I could restart in a year if I lost MD for a year. Not being able to stop for a week, a month, a year, is just your brain craving its "sugar"-sweet feelings, like a three-year-old with candy.

And the fourth answer, to answer your anxiety: People lose abilities they had before, and they experience a harsh reality, but they're still themselves after that loss. If you actually lose your ability to MD, and are exposed to a bleak, terrifying, ugly, boring experience of life from now on ... you're still you.

[Deep blue]

Actually real life is not as terrifying as you guys think. Its same as MD. You can still have big dreams and ambitions. But this is real world so you need to do something for them to come true. We won't be able to just create a scenario of success and be happy with it.   

You can do a lot of interesting things like travelling, meeting new people, ( and actually enjoying your life which you could never do before because your mind was filled with MD.)

So real life can be as interesting as you want it to be. The only thing is you'll have to take action for everything that you desire. If you can do that much no one will be able to stop you from living an amazing life.

And I don't think someone who has stopped MDing can actually lose the ability to daydream. We can only willingly avoid doing it / stop it.

That ability is still present in our head somewhere and we can again access it at any time, but when you overcome MD, the last thing you want is to daydream again. So even if its present its vestigial to us.