Maladaptive Daydreaming: where wild minds come to rest
For the past three or four years, I've gone through these strange month long phases of emotional states. There are only two. One is where I am diligent, sincere, and care a lot about projects, learning, and effort. The other is where I care about nothing, and feel literally nothing at all, for days on end. It sounds a little cliche, and I promise that I'm not on some rant trying to make myself sound cool, because it certainly is not something anyone should consider impressive, but I am literally like a robot.
During the phase in which I feel nothing, my daydreaming is still there but bland, which is even less motivational, as I rely on it for my artwork. These times concern me as I am not motivated to do anything and am constantly tired. I don't know what to do about it. Has anyone else felt (or not felt, hah) like this?
wow, thats exactly how i am too! i actually never realised this could be because of MD. When i was in high school i used to skip days at a time and when i did go i was always late...people made fun of me because they saw me as this friendless loser that didnt care about anything. One thing they used to say was that i probably wondered the streets with a bag on my head lol...im laughing now but at the time it wasnt so funny to me :( i let my friends down because after daydreaming i dont feel like being social. I never had motivation to apply for college (im 20), i got really bad grades, i dont have a job...i spend all my time at home...and yet i dont feel any guilt or remorse like you say. I get depressed as hell and beat myself up over it when i look at it in retrospect but yet i keep doing it and i dont feel guilty...its almost like id rather daydream forever and let my life fall to shambles
I tend to feel like this when I'm in a severe daydreaming phase. I can see the stress and upset I cause my family (who think I'm depressed), when I'm spending long periods in my room, but I don't feel any guilt about it. MD becomes my number one priority and that's all that concerns me.
I have an 11 year old niece and I neglect her when I'm in a severe MD phase but again I don't feel bad or guilty at the time. I don't turn up for work, I lie, I make excuses to avoid having to get up and go somewhere, I let people down, I lose interest in our dogs and again no guilt, no regret, no remorse, no nothing.
Its like I'm completely detached from my emotions, apart from the ones I experience during daydreams.
As far as motivation goes, I rarely have any so I'm pretty lazy most of the time. And as for creativity, I get bored and lose concentration very quickly. Someone suggested I write a book, so I've written 10 chapters then got bored of that too and can't motivate myself to carry on with it do it's left unfinished.
This is a very good idea, I think I'll have to give it a try.
Lisa Smith said:
I actually just posted a reply to a different post about this exact thing. If you want to read it, it was in reply to 'nicole's post about her day dreams becoming too much.
Anyway what im going to do is write down how long these phases are, what i did and how intense they were. maybe by keeping track of it we can get learn how to get a handle on it...because i know how hard it is to come out of one of the 'down' phases.